I watchas she walks out of the apartment, small backpack in her hand. She gave me a hazy glance over her shoulder, but I couldn’t look for too long.
I would have gone against everything I said and pulled her back into my arms, not letting her go. I hate that I upset her, but it’s for the best. Reminders of me breaking up with Anaïs still haunt me, the look on her face and the way I broke her heart with one sentence. The look in her eyes was the same one that fluttered through Athena’s.
I hurt them both. I know that. But I’m selfish and need to protect myself and my career.
I saw the way my dad lost himself for my mum… I don’t want to be that person. She broke him in a way I had never seen. He gave upeverythingfor her, and I’m not going to make the same mistakes he did.
The door closes and I fall back into the sofa, a heavy sigh vibrating through me. I need out of this slump. I need to get my head in the game for this weekend.
Reaching for my phone, I message Dane and ask him to meet me in the gym in five minutes. It’s past ten in the evening, but I don’t care. I need to work myself into exhaustion. Sleep thesewretched feelings out of my system. He replies instantly with a simple ‘Okay.’
Peeling myself from my seat, I pad into the bedroom, and her scent engulfs me in an instant. Everywhere I look, I am reminded of her.
I hate it.
Changing into shorts and a vest, I sit on the edge of the bed and slip my sock and trainers on. I really don’t want to work out, but it’s all I have to numb the feelings. Drink would do it, but I couldn’t drink.
For a moment, I regret the day Athena walked into my life.
No, you don’t.
But I know deep down what the problem is, I just don’t want to admit it.
“Why the late-night session?” Dane asks, spotting me as I lift weights.
“Needed out my head,” I grunt, my chest burning with each breath I take.
“Something happened?” He seems cautious with his words.
“Nope.” My tone is sharp, and I’m sure he knows I am lying.
“Okay.” He puffs his cheeks out, taking the bar from me and placing it back into the rack.
“I need the right mentality going into this weekend. I have become complacent and I can’t risk fucking it up.”
He gives a knowing nod as he sets the treadmill up for me. Stepping onto the track, he pushes it into a fast walk.
“I have dreamt of a season like this for so long, and now it’s finally coming into fruition… I’m scared,” I admit as I break into a steady jog.
“You’re allowed to be scared,” Dane says, watching the screen, his large, muscly arms crossed against his chest. “But you’re not allowed to push people away and sacrifice a future.”
I turn my face to look at him, brows digging down. “Thisismy future. Do you know how much this will do for me and the team if I win the WDC?” My fingers tingle with rage. “I have never dreamt of a wife, family, settling… My dream has always been driving high speed cars around a track. My dream has always been about winning.” I pant, my nostrils flaring as he slowly presses the buttons increasing the speed.
“Then what?” His tone is dull. “What happens when youstopwinning, because it will happen… it always does.”
His words floor me. My mouth opens to answer but I can’t fathom the words.
Slamming my hand on the stop button, the tread slows to a halt. My fingers curl around the rail of the tread, my legs like jelly as I lock my gaze on his.
A small smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Think about it.” He slaps his hand on my back before throwing me a towel and walking towards where the water bottles sit.
What happens when you stop winning?
My face is wearing a fierce scowl as I close the gap between me and Dane. Swiping up my water bottle, I squirt it into my mouth. My chest rises and falls quickly as I try and drag as much air into my lungs.
“Look, I want you to succeed in your career, Royce, I always have. But you’ve got to toe the line. There will come a point when this comes to a halt, and it doesn’t matter how much you try and get it back, you won’t be able to.”
Swallowing, I clench my fist by my side.
