I’ll find something else. There is only so long you can pour from an empty cup.
“Yeah, maybe.”
She tilts her head, giving methatlook. “You need to start being a little more positive, babe. Stop being cup half empty… you’ve come so far. I don’t want to start calling you Pessimistic Pam.”
I snort a laugh.
“Promise you’ll see this as a positive experience, that you’re going to spin that magic to make this the most beautiful and amazing book you have ever written.”
I swallow down the lump that has lodged in my throat.
“You deserve this and so much more, Athena. As soon as you realise that you’ll get the life you have only ever dreamed of.”
I nod, tears pricking my eyes and lining my lower lid.
“Oh God, don’t cry. I can’t swoop you up in a cuddle because you’re a billion miles away.”
“I’m fine,” I choke on a sob. What was wrong with me?
“That’s the problem, you’re always fine.” Her voice is soft, sincerity wrapped around her tone, and I would do anything to have her here with me now.
“I miss you,” I sniffle and her own eyes mist.
“It’s only been three days. How are we going to cope?”
“You’re going to have to fly out and follow me around.”
She sits tall. “Do you think…”
“I don’t know? Maybe, I can speak to my agent or Nora and see if there is any way we could work it.”
“Joys of voluntary redundancy.” She sighs.
“What?” My eyes widen.
“Yup, I was told today that following the buyout, they we’re downsizing… and well, I’m being squeezed out.” Edel works in public relations for a small firm, she is so dedicated to her job.
“Well, let me float the idea, and I’ll let you know what they say.”
Her lips purse. “Okay.” She holds her fingers up and they’re crossed.
We fall into easier chatter, and I finally cut her off when she has fallen asleep. Smiling at the screen, I lock it and toss my phone down.
Padding towards the desk in the room, I grab my laptop and fall back onto my bed, legs crossed as I open the screen. I stare at the blank document and feel nothing.
Opening my emails, I see one from Maria and click on it. I skim through it then sigh, closing the lid.
I fear I am never going to be able to write another book. The tingles in my fingers have gone, along with the way my heart would skip a beat or two when a new idea hit me at three a.m. The excitement has fizzled out and been replaced with dread and anxiety. I have a moment where I think it is coming back, my passion for words, but I think it is a fever dream.
Glancing at the time, I decide I need to get out my room because if I stay here, I am going to fall asleep. Grabbing my small over the body bag, phone, and key card, I close the door behind me and make my way downstairs. I have no idea where I’m going but I don’t care. I’m just going to walk and see where my feet land.
Stepping into the lobby of the hotel, I stop off at the concierge desk and ask for some recommendations. He’s very helpful, offering me a few leaflets and a map for my aimless wandering.
“Thank you,” I mutter, glancing down as I look at where to headfirst. I need a coffee, and then I will be ready to explore.
Chapter Seven
Royce
