My cheeks flame and I drop my eyes to my lap.
“Oh my God,” she says, and I want the ground to swallow me whole. “Something did happen.” She slams her hand on the table and I wince.
Lifting my head, I look around me and lean across the table. “We cannot be having this conversation here.” I grit my teeth then sit taller in my chair as I call the waiter over for the bill.
“Oh my God.” She giggles, kicking her feet under the table.
“Stop it,” I whisper, my stern expression painted across my face.
The bill is placed in front of us and before the waiter can walk away, I ping my phone against the card reader. “Merci.” I smile politely, grabbing my bag and pushing away from the table.
Edel is hot on my heels as I start walking away from the marina.
“Hey, hey,” she calls out, curling her fingers around my elbow and dragging me back. “You can’t run away.”
I furrow my brow. “I know, I am just trying to get out of ear shot. Let’s go get a coffee then I’ll spill all back at the apartment.” I am flustered, but don’t know why.
I usually tell Edel everything, but I am worried that once I do, I’ll admit everything. I’ll have to tell her something happened. And that the feelings that I have pushed down to a place where they can’t be found will begin to bubble and slowly resurface. I know I felt something for Royce, and this is my problem. I’m blocked with my words because our platonic and fake relationship had come to a halt. How could I write about something that I didn’t know?
He brought out the best in me, whether I had realised it before knowing or not doesn’t really matter anymore. He pulled back. He made the decision and I have to respect that. He didn’t want me in the way I wanted him.
My gut twists and I fucking hate it. Hate that for the first time in what felt like eternity, I had felt something for someone, let myself be vulnerable in a way I never had. I felt used. As if I was a challenge.
Shaking my head, Edel looks at me as we stop outsideCassa Del Caffé.“What would you like?”
I look up at the shop, it’s busy, quite a few people dressed in racing apparel and then I see a group all wearing Royce’s Saint Onyx tee. A shiver dances across my skin.
“Maybe we should—” Before I could even finish my sentence, I hear a squeal and wince.
“It’s Opal Bloom!” one girl calls out. She leaves her space in the line and makes her way over to me. Her little posse follow behind.
“Oh God,” I whisper, pushing a fake smile on my face.
“Is it really you?” She looks at me as if I am some kind of person to worship.
Edel is beside me, ready to swoop in and save me. “It is,” she chimes in and my cheeks turn pink.
“We love your books,” the young girl gushes and she fumbles in her bag. “I’m coming to see you tonight atamoureux des livres,but can you sign my book?”
For the first time in my career, proudness blooms in my chest. “Of course.” I take it from her and I smile, looking down at one of my book babies, my heart thumping in my chest. Brushing my finger across the cover, my eyes mist.
“Here.” She holds out a pen for me. Opening the first page, I scribble my signature. “Can I get a selfie?”
I laugh softly. “Sure.” I pose next to her, a beaming smile on my face and all I can think of is that I wish Royce was here. Wish he got to see how much he has helped me.
“Thank you so much.” The young girl steps back, her eyes flitting around the room. “Do you think Royce can win this weekend?” she asks me and I blink a couple of times.
“I have no doubt,” I say and my chest warms.
“He is our favourite driver.” She nods, all starry eyed before looking over her shoulder at the group she’s with.
“Mine too.” I swallow down the bile that threatens to creep up my throat. A sharp pain slices through my windpipe.
“Okay, well, it was nice meeting you.” She gives me a lopsided smile.
“You too.”
Her and her group move back to the queue and Edel is all squealy beside me.
