“The guy who works for Jude?” I clarify, and she sniffs.
“Apparently so.”
There’s a lot left unsaid, but it’s clearshe doesn’t want to delve into it, and I’m in no position to make her. Instead, I try to keep to my initial point. “Would you have been in the position to kill someone if you weren’t with him? Not that I’m trying to pass on the blame of our actions to someone else, but circumstantially, I mean.”
She worries her bottom lip as she thinks.
“No, I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure. My surroundings weren’t good regardless, and even though my life is mayhem here, it’s still a whirlwind of a difference from what my life was like back home.”
There’s something in her tone that twists in my gut. “How so?” I breathe, my hand stilling when I realize it was ghosting up and down her spine mindlessly.
“It’s no secret I’ve felt trapped here since I first arrived,” she starts, and flashes of her trying to escape through Institute Twelve instantly come to mind. “I’m still confined now, but at least here I can embrace some mental freedom, even if I don’t like being in The Vale and under The Sanctum’s watchful eye,” she explains.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt as my chest tightens with sadness for her. It’s something I understand all too well.
“Don’t be,” she insists, and I shake my head, wrapping my arm tightly around her, making sure she stays exactly where she is.
“It’s hard not to,” I admit, and she offers me a more reassuring smile this time.
“For sure, but I’m trying to find the silver lining in everything, and at least here I have a bed, clean clothes, hot food, and loyal friends.”
My heart lurches in my chest. “Fuck, Petal. That’s sad.”
If she hadn’t already killed the man that pretended to be her father, then I would be hellbent on doing it now. Although, she has mentioned a mother, I think? Maybe she needs to pay for her sins as well.
“I know, but at least I’m not dead. That’s sadder,” she muses, tilting her face to watch the tv for a moment.
“Maybe,” I mumble, following her line of sight, but I can’t absorb a single thing.
Silence echoes around us, but it’s not awkward, it’s almost comforting until she looks back at me again.
“What brought you here? Where did it all begin for you?” she asks, and I gulp, scrubbing the back of my neck.
“Those two aren’t quite the same thing,” I explain, and her eyebrows pinch in confusion.
“What do you mean?” Hesitation zips down my spine, and she must sense it because she tries to backtrack. “It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, it just feels like a different life now,” I explain, understanding dancing in her eyes as she gives me a moment to try and find my thoughts.
Clearing my throat, I try my best to condense the madness that haunts my memories. “It all began with my father. He was ruthless. Not as crazed as Jude with a desire to take over the world, but he was reckless, feral, and disastrous. He loved to slaughter, but even more so, he loved to watchothersslaughter for him.”
Her eyes widen as her pupils constrict, another layer of perception washing over her features.
“How old?” she asks, and I exhale slowly.
“Twelve.”
She sucks in breath, horror bleeding from her as she stares deep into my eyes, silently caressing my soul. “Want to talk about it?” she offers, and I shrug.
“There’s not much to talk about, really. He was a sadist. If he’s still alive, then he’s still a cunt. Beingthe son of an alpha who was hellbent on scorching the earth came with expectations I couldn’t withstand.” I search her eyes, considering whether I should add the next bit, but my filter deserts me and my lips part. “That’s where Laurie comes in.”
“Professor Drayker,” she clarifies, and I nod.
“Yes, but we don’t need to?—”
“Tell me,” she insists.
I take a moment, but fail to gather myself. When it becomes clear I never will, I go for it anyway, regardless of how chaotic it might be.
