“Yes, you can.”
“No, Ican’t! And by saying I can you’re puttingfartoo much pressure on me.” The cold spilled outward, jagged and uncontrolled. Ice exploded in a perfect web beneath my feet, snuffing out baby fires and flash-freezing the river’s edge.
Lucien wisely didn’t point out that I’d somehow done what he asked.
Slowly, his lips tipped into a sly smile. “I might be putting pressure on you but look...you’re not giving in to your annoying little habit of passing out anymore.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Oh, I think I’m helping quite a lot, actually.” He crossed his arms. “I also think I’ll keep pushing you until you snap.”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Put out the fire.”
“Stop it.”
“Do it.” His face darkened. “Prove to yourself that this is real. That you’re finally free and somehow control winter.”
“I...but...it’s not possible.” I almost fell as everything hit me.
Everything.
It wasn’t even thoughts or questions that crushed me...it was feelings.
Feelings I’d never really allowed myself to feel because it always ended in a migraine or misery. Feelings full ofpower.Grief and loss, fear and panic.
Whatwerewe?
What would become of us?
My throat closed up.
My vision swam—
Lucien stormed into me.
His hands were on me instantly, solid and grounding, thumbs brushing my cheeks as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I didn’t know how much you were drowning.”
I moaned as the temptation to surrender to him made the bond flare.
I felt himinsideme—rummaging in my heart, sensing me, reading me, knowing my darkest fears and deepest losses.
“You’re okay,” he whispered against my skin, his lips hot and searing. “I feel how much this is hurting you so...forget it. I’ll figure something else out. Let’s go—”
“We can’t go. Not when so many creatures are dying.”
“Then...do you want to try?” he asked gently.
My fingers curled into fists.
My sanity cracked.
Try what? Harnessing an entire season? Wrangling an element?
It was absurd. Ridiculous. Make-believe.
“God, I can’tdothis,” I moaned. “I can’t fix what you’ve burned. I can’t suddenly hate everyone I’ve ever trusted. I can’t just pretend they’re now my enemy!”
