That rationalization feels solid enough to keep me afloat for the drive to the house. I try not to think about what the boys will say, or how I’m probably going to have to beg them not to tell Aiden. I don’t know why I fear him so much. He’s never been overly harsh with me. Leo is probably the one to most watch out for. I just know that Aiden is going to…
“We’re here. You want me to wait?”
“Yes, please,” I say. “This shouldn’t take long. Leave the engine running, maybe.”
“Why, you about to rob the place?”
“Do I look like a robber?”
He starts to answer. I get out of the cab, but leave the rear door open. He leaves the engine running. I guess I am about to rob the place, though whoever is looking after my baby dog should know I exist and just give her to me.
I go up to the front of the house, through the gates, which are open, and knock on the door. I instantly hear Ethel’s madyapping. I smile broadly, my eyes full of tears. She’s right through that door, and I’m about to be reunited with her.
“Shut up, you little bag of bones!” a rough voice calls out.
I see red as a curtain of rage descends over my eyes. How dare they speak to my baby that way? Someone paid to care for her, speaking to her with cold cruelty?
The door is already opening when I kick it in. Someone inside curses as the door hits them somewhere on their body. I hope it’s their face. Ethel comes out at me like a furious elderly missile. I scoop her up in my arms and I run back to the cab as fast as I can.
“Go!”
The guy is good enough to actually take off when I ask him to, but he slows down after a block or so. The negotiation I feared is about to happen.
Ethel burrows into my arms, flattening herself like a pancake inside my embrace. I don’t know how she always seems to understand what is going on, when she hardly understands the concept of being housebroken, but she gets me.
Tears of joy and relief run down my face. I knew I wanted to get her, but I had no idea how much emotion I was really holding back. My life has forced me to be controlled almost all the time. I can’t afford to be emotional usually. I have to fit in, be safe, and be logical.
Ethel has never been any of those things. I want to be more like Ethel. I think, maybe, I am starting to be.
“It’s extra to take a dog in the cab,” the driver says.
“How much extra?”
“Two hundred. Cleaning fee.”
I’m used to being kidnapped. Being robbed is new. I don’t much like it, but it’s less of a general inconvenience, I guess.
“Fine,” I say.
He seems happy that I’ve agreed, but a few minutes later I notice that we have slowed to an absolute crawl.
“What’s taking so long?”
“Traffic,” he says.
I keep checking my watch. They’re going to think I’ve gone missing. They’re going to be so angry. And there’s nothing I can do…
“Can I borrow your phone, please?”
“Sure,” he says. “It will be fifty bucks.”
I sigh and hand him a fifty-dollar bill. Then I take his phone and look up the hospital and call reception.
“I need to speak to a patient there,” I say. “Leo Levin. It’s extremely important.”
The lady on the other end does not care about my declared extreme importance. She deals with life and death every day and she thinks I am being dramatic. But she does try to put me through to Leo. It takes a long time. I get bounced between different departments.
Then, finally, Leo’s voice comes on the line.
