“I’m so sorry that happened to you. Are you still in therapy?”
“Nah. Once I could walk on my own, I stopped. It felt like a waste of time.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “It’s been the mental stuff that’s taken longer to heal than the physical ones.”
“That’s usually how it goes.” I’d had patients who’d been through a traumatic event a decade earlier and were still dealing with PTSD from it. The memory was long. “Have you seen a psychiatrist.”
“No.”
“It could help.”
“Not with my biggest concern.” I turned his gaze to his beer.
“What’s your biggest concern?”
“Impotence.”
I stared at him for a long beat, trying to read his expression. Was he joking or serious?
“I’m being serious. I haven’t been able to fuck since before the accident. Since you’re a medical professional, I thought I could mention it. But if you don’t want to discuss it.”
“No,” I replied quickly. “I’m happy to help you anyway I can.” And I meant it. It took a lot of guts for him to bring up something so personal, and I wouldn’t make it weird for him.
“Do you have a magic pill I can take so I can resume sexual activities?”
“That depends on what the issue is. Do you feel nothing? Can you get an erection?”
“I just feel numb most days. This probably more TMI than you’d like, but nothing happens to me when a club girl tries to suck me off.”
“Well, what medications are you taking? Sometimes those can kill your desire.”
“I’m feeling a lot of desire right now, sitting next to you.” His green eyes smoldered as he stared at me. “I haven’t felt like this in a very long time.”
“Interesting.” My face heated and spread down my neck to my chest. I shifted nervously in my seat, hoping to make it stop. His words made me excited, a little hot and bothered.
But how horrible of me to get turned on by a guy who was being vulnerable about his impotence issues?Jeez, Kel. Focus on Gideon and not yourself.
“It is interesting.”
“Have you changed anything lately? Did you stop taking any meds? I’d need to know what you were taking to help me help you.”
“Just oxy the last few months. I stopped the muscle relaxers in the spring.” He hung his head as if ashamed. “And I drink a lot.”
“And I assume that you know it’s not a good to drink while taking meds”
He nodded. “Yes. But I haven’t taken anything today and this is my first drink of the day. I’m literally the most sober I’ve been all year.”
“That’s great. I’m confident you’re resume your normal activities the more the drugs get out of your system. And I’d lay off the hard liquor.” I winked at him and smiled.
“You really think that’s all it will take? It’s humiliating not being able to get hard. Although…” His words faded and wiggled on his butt. “I’m feeling a little something right now. Is it my imagination? It’s only been a day.”
“I don’t know. Everyone is different. I’m sure in a couple of days you’ll notice more improvements. You might want to experiment with one of your club girls.” Instantly, I mentally chastised myself for suggesting he get his freak on with a club girl.
“I’m not interested in them anymore. Haven’t been for a while. When they saw my scars, I could tell it disgusted them.”
“Jeez, that’s rough.”
“Yeah, but the way I see it. It’s for the better. Having a near death experience makes you take stock of your life and the people in it.”
“I know something about that.” I felt tears burn behind my eyes. “When my parents died two years ago, the perfect world I’d created for myself came crashing down.”
