Maybe I need to fuck her out of my system.
Even as the words roll over in my mind, I know that isn’t the case.I want her.I’m not a pussy; I can admit that.I want her so goddamn much it fucking scares me.I won’t lie and say that wanting her before we fucked didn’t scare me, because it did.She scares me.
This morning, after barely getting any sleep, I woke up to the most tantalising scent.Her head was on my shoulder, her hand on my pec and her leg was cocked over mine.The sex had been fucking phenomenal, and quite frankly, the best I’ve ever had.Had it scared me?Fuck yes.But did that have my balls shrivelling up and my hands shaking as I snuck out of her bedroom?No.It wasn’t even waking up to her in my arms, which I can say for sure has never happened to me.Not once.I’m in and out quicker than a single mum in a supermarket.No, what had me tripping over my feet was how I felt.This deep, unearthed sense of peace and contentment as I woke up is what had me reaching for the door handle.
Yet the second I reached for my bag, I couldn’t pick it up.I couldn’t leave.It was like my feet were cemented to the floor, and this foreboding feeling inside of me knew that if I left, I would be making the biggest mistake of my life.
Instead, I went to the kitchen and had coffee.I woke up properly, and that fear was back, swimming in the pit of my stomach with no place to go.
Fear that disappeared as soon as I saw her, because fuck me, I’ve never wanted anyone so badly in my life.My dick is in complete agreement.
I don’t want us to be the one night.I know that for sure.Nothing has ever been clearer.Yet I know nothing about ‘more’.It’s embarrassing, and no way in hell can I go to any relative for help.My sister would be the first person I’d go to, but she owes me too many paybacks from the shit I’ve pulled over the years.
Milly, who wanted to tag along with us to see my mum, walks behind the horse, and I come out of my head and shake away the thoughts about Summer that were paralyzing me.
“Kid, no,” I bark loudly, and quickly pick her up, ignoring the sweaty armpits she’s sporting and the grossness of it.“You can’t walk behind a horse.”
She tilts her head, scrutinising me under those lashes.Shit, this kid scares me.“You really want to yell at me, don’t you?Do you think that’s wise in front of Summer?She does not look happy with you right now.”
Her lower lip begins to tremble and I quickly glance Summer’s way, who I find is making her way over, her eyebrows pinched as she watches us.
I flip my gaze back to the kid.“If you drop the act, I’ll take you out on the horse later.”
Her eyes begin to water despite the cunning spark in them.“You promise?”
Little shit.
“Yes.”
Her lip trembles again.“If you give me twenty quid, I’ll even throw in a compliment.”
“Kid, you should go into politics,” I tell her.“Don’t be overly dramatic with the compliment.Do we have a deal?”
She pastes on a bright smile, her eyes no longer watering.“Deal,” she whispers, before dramatically announcing.“I promise never to step behind a horsey again.Thank you for saving me.You’re my hero.”
I inwardly snort.This fucking kid.“Any time, kid.Any time.”
“Everything okay?”Summer asks, lost in her phone.I glare down at the kid when she snickers.Little shit played me.Again.Her concern isn’t for the kid; it’s for whatever is on her phone.
I quickly lower Milly to the ground and paste on my own smile.“Yeah, everything is good.Everything good with you?You look like one more thought might make you scream.”
“What?”she asks, seeming to shake herself out of her thoughts.
Milly giggles.“You stay real, cousin,” she advises.“Oh, Malia is here.”
We watch her race over to the car park, and when I see she’s safely with Malia, who Mum is talking to, I turn my attention to Summer.“You okay?”
She glances back at her phone.“I’m not sure.I had expected Katherine or someone to email me back about my resignation.No one has and it’s what, nearly two in the afternoon?I texted my previous boss who I assisted before Katherine, asking if she can follow up and make sure Katherine got my email.She’s sent me this.”
She pushes the phone out to show me the text message.
SANDRA: You need to give me the number of the psychic who reads your tarot cards.I can’t get into it right now, but you left at the right time.The place is being ransacked as I type.I have to go.
“What do you think it means?”
I grin.“I think Katherine is about to get a little taste of her own medicine.”
“Already?Don’t you think it’s a bit quick for the police to do a full investigation?”
