She pulls away as I approach to help her into bed.I give Jermaine a look, and he only shrugs.
“Are you alright?”I ask, trying not to anger her further.
“Fine.”She grits her teeth and pulls the blanket over her body before I can even try to grab her leg and inspect it.
“Somebody care to explain what’s happened?”Noa’s glare at me intensifies before she gives me her back.Jermaine remains silent while keeping a steady eye on my woman.“Not a mind reader here, people.Someone’s got to tell me something, or I’m just going to go kill the fucker.”
Jer points towards Noa.“Look at her leg, man.”
Noa doesn’t fight me as I lift the blanket and gently begin to draw up the sides of the bandage to see the letter carved into her flesh.”
“I’ll cut his fucking head off.”Today is the last day Vincent draws breath.His life is over.“Why didn’t you call me, mama?”
Yanking her leg back, her eyes close as she says, “Didn’t think you’d care.”
An explosion of fury erupts in my head, and the place to aim it is at myself.Ididthat because I froze at the house.The fear of losing Noa was inconceivable.It was protective and selfish on my part.
“Get out!”I snap at Jermaine.The man chuckles, wishes me good luck, and takes his leave.I crawl into bed behind Noa, wrap her up in my body, and kiss the back of her neck until she’s less tense.“Of course, I fucking care, mama.There’s nothing I care about more than you in this world.”She snorts, and I fight back a growl.“Will you turn and look at me so I can see your beautiful eyes?”
“No.”Her hurt tone is like a punch to the gut.
“Why not?”I’m prepared to do anything she wants.
Sniffling, her chest rises with a deep breath.“The look on your face at the house hurt so much.It was like little shards of glass pumping through my heart.I can’t do that again.The kids can’t.If you’re going to push us away, just get it over with now before we’re hurt more than we already are.”
“Look at me, mama.”I inject the dominance Noa responds to into my tone without coming off as too harsh or controlling, and she finally turns her head.Tears swim in her eyes, and it crushes me that she’s been suffering while I was too fucking selfish to clear things up with her first.
“Well?”Her little sniffle reminds me of a small child.
Clearing my tight throat, I choose my words carefully.“Losing my wife ripped a hole through my chest.It took me years to grieve her loss because I had to be present for my girls.”Noa turns more, lying flat on her back while gazing up at me.I trace a finger along her jaw, and she lets out a shuddering breath.“Losing you would kill me.It would physically be the most unbearable thing in my life.I would never recover.”
“How can you say that?You had years with her, children…an entire life.We had a one-night stand, ending with a big surprise.”
I’m so fucking glad she didn’t call it a mistake.
“Yeah, we did, but I don’t regret a second of it.Nothing.I knew it was possible you’d be pregnant, and at first, I was pissed at myself.Angry you’d made me lose such control that I didn’t think about the repercussions.”Scrubbing a hand down my face, I reach for her belly where the baby visibly moves.“I watched you.”Her brows raise.“Yeah, I did, and I’m not sorry.I saw you were pregnant…the weekend before I came to the school.I went fucking feral, and every primal instinct in my body shot to high alert.You were mine.From the first time I laid eyes on you, you were going to be mine.Nothing and no one will ever change that.”
She doesn’t say anything, and it fucking kills me, but it’s her eyes that give her away.She’s so expressive, allowing me access to every thought in her mind, without even realizing it.
“Fear held me captive, mama, and it took me time to get my mind right that you weren’t dying.I swear to god, Noa, it’ll never happen again.Never again will it happen.You have two hundred percent of me, Noa.Forever.”
Finally, she faces me full-on, pressing her body against mine and rubbing her face into my chest.“Joey saw.He thinks you don’t love him, too, and that hurts more than anything.”
Leaning forward, I kiss every inch of her face I can reach while rubbing a hand up and down her side and back.“I’ll make it right with him.I’ll show him that what he saw was a temporary lapse due to fear.”
“He needs to know that what he’s feeling is valid as well.That we aren’t infallible and it’s okay to make mistakes.”Tilting her chin up, she gives me her lips.Sipping at her, she opens for me, touching her tongue to mine and rubbing against my body.
“Mama, not here.As soon as we’re home, I’ll spend hours between your thighs until you’re begging me to stop.”She moans and nips my lip.
“Promise?”
“On my life.”There’s a knock, then Jermaine pokes his head in to let us know the kids are here with Aura.They enter in a flurry of food, flowers, and a teddy bear.The girls tell Noa all about their afternoon of shopping and lunch while Joey sits in the corner, glaring at me.“Be back in a bit,” I murmur in Noa’s ear.She nods and waves to her brother.
Standing, I make sure she’s settled before approaching the boy.“Come on, we need to talk.”
His arms cross, and he leans back defiantly, ignoring me.I grab his shoulder, help him to his feet, and guide him into the hall, where we walk to the elevator, out to a courtyard with benches near the cafeteria.
Taking a seat, I wait for Joey to join me.“Fear is a powerful emotion, but you probably know that.”He grunts.“There’s been few times in my life where it’s affected me so viscerally.”Waiting until he looks at me, I continue on.“When my daughter was in an accident, when Aura decided to travel across Europe and Africa, when my wife was murdered, and this morning.”
