“You can’t give up your whole life for this, Ev,” I tell him. “No one in the family would want you to do that.”
“I’m not, but I’m not risking anything right now. After I have my degree, then maybe I’ll try to find someone who I’ll eventually be able to trust with the secret of who I really am, but I’m not about to risk fucking everything up before it’s even started.”
I can hear the determination in his voice, and I know he won’t budge on this. This same stubborn streak is what’s going to ensure he accomplishes every single goal he makes for himself, but it’s also going to keep him closed off from everything outside of work if he isn’t careful.
“I’m not done bugging you about this,” I warn him. “I’m not going to let you sacrifice everything, Ev.”
He ignores me and says, “If you’re wanting to get to your apartment before Savanna’s class lets out, you’d better hurry. You know how traffic is at lunchtime.”
I check my watch and then look back at him. He grins to let me know he’s not upset and says, “Let me know when you set the wedding date.”
“She’s out of my league, Ev, like painfully so. I feel like an idiot anytime I’m around her, sweaty palms and everything.”
He laughs, but there’s nothing mean about it. My cousins have always had my back, just like I’ve always had theirs.
“She likes you, Niki. I could see that at Sasha’s wedding. You’re just used to dealing with computers instead of people,and it’s made you a little shy. You said you should’ve kissed her last night. Did she look like she wanted you to?”
I think about the way she’d looked at me, the smile that showed off her dimple, the heated look in her blue eyes, and the way she’d leaned towards me and squeezed my finger. It’s easy for me to second-guess things when it comes to people, I’m much more confident with computers, but there had been no denying the desire I’d seen on her face.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Well, there you go,” Ev says like it’s a done deal. “Next time, kiss her.”
Grabbing my bag, I stand up and say, “I’m gonna have to because this is driving me crazy.”
“That’s the spirit,” he says, gently making fun of my grim tone. “Try to bring that kind of enthusiasm into the kiss if you really want to wow her.”
I laugh and throw my empty drink away. “See you soon, Ev. Try not to study too hard. You’ve already ruined your eyes with this shit.”
“I’m fine. It’s just a little bit of eye strain,” he says, but he’s already buried himself in another dense book before I’ve even stepped out of his apartment.
Making a quick stop to grab a pizza for lunch, I race back to my apartment. I’m already sitting at my desk and starting on my second slice when I see Savanna walk out of her class. The bag I’d bought her is slung across her chest, and I can’t help but notice the way she keeps running her fingers over it. I’d grabbed the bag at the last minute. Unlike the brand-new equipment I’d given her, the leather bag is one of my old ones. I thought she might like it, and I also really liked the idea of her carrying around something that belongs to me. It looks good on her.
I keep her in my line of sight, watching as she heads for her next class. She has a thirty-minute break between them, soshe finds an empty bench beneath one of the many maple trees that grow on campus. I’m not at all surprised to see her start spreading books out and then carefully pulling her new laptop out. She still looks scared to touch it, but I can tell she’s also excited to try it out.
A smile plays at my lips while I watch her use her finger to unlock it.
“You’re not going to break it, Van,” I whisper. “Use the damn thing, sweetheart.”
As if she can hear me cheering her on, she uses the trackpad, and then her fingers are flying over the keyboard. I’m dying to know what she’s doing, so I tear my eyes from her and look at my other screen, the one that’s a mirror of the laptop in her hands. I watch her move the cursor and open a new document in Pages. She quickly starts typing up her notes from class. I turn back to the live feed of her, grinning like an idiot because I’m damn proud of her.
I finish off my lunch while I watch her work, and when she only has about fifteen minutes before her next class, she stops typing and then stretches her arms up and rolls her shoulders a few times. Reaching over to grab her textbook, she freezes, and even with the grainy image from the CCTV camera, I can see that she looks scared to death. My first thought is Cupid has sent someone after her, but then she jumps up and flings her book aside. The MacBook Air falls to the grass, pulling another horrified look from Savanna before I finally realize it must’ve been a bug that she’d seen.
A few students walk by, and Savanna laughs and points a finger at the bench before stretching her hands out in what I’m guessing is supposed to be a very inaccurate guess at how big the bug was. According to her, it’s of the dinosaur variety, and I laugh at how damn cute she is.
Dusting the laptop off, she runs her hand over it, and I know she’s sending up a prayer to whoever will listen for it to be okay. I don’t give a shit about the computer, though. I’ll just buy her another one if she breaks it. She seems relieved, and since it still looks fine on my end, I’m assuming it’s okay.
After packing everything up, she jogs down the sidewalk, just making it to her next class with only a minute to spare. While she sits through her educational psychology class, I dive back into the dark web. All the joy that I’d just felt at seeing Savanna drains away when my screen is filled with images I’ll never be able to scrub my brain clean of. Instead of her sweet, beautiful face, I see the faces of women who have been severely traumatized. It’s the kind of pain that will never leave them, and I hate that I can’t erase what’s happened to them. I hate that it took me so long to catch the bastard who’s responsible for this.
He finally fucked up, though, and now I have his identity and location. The file I’ve put together for Agent Jackson is thorough, and in sharp contrast to the sparse message I write to go along with it.
I’ve caught another one for you, Agent Jackson. Make sure you put this fucker away for life.
Talk soon,
—Nobody
By the time Jackson opens the email, the path it traveled to get to him will already be gone. I take one last look at the images on my screen, knowing I’ll never be free of them, but also knowing it’s worth it if it gets these poor women out of the hell they’re currently living in. I silently wish them a better future before I send it off and then hide my copy of everything in a password-protected folder with all the others I’ve sent to the FBI.
