I looked at the two empty chairs, wondering what it might be like if Wolfe were here right now. He’d be glowering, probably, and I’d be kicking him under the table to try and get a reaction out of him. And then those lips would twitch, those lips that were so very close to kissing mine.
“Niamh?”
I jumped, looking at Karina.
“I just asked if you wanted any more wine.” She held up a jug.
“No.” I pushed away my glass. I’d clearly already had too much, and it was addling my brain. “I’m okay.” I glanced at a painting of the entire family on the wall behind the table.
Karina, Jerome, and their four boys. I immediately spotted Wolfe as the largest of them, the most serious but with no beard, his face looking so young without it. The others were smiling in the portrait, but Wolfe’s mouth was in a flat line. Cillian stood in front of him, handsome features perfectly captured, and Nevan stood next to Wolfe, hair short and styled and those same spectacles he wore today perched on his nose, but he was lankier, less filled out. The last one must’ve been Lor. He had the longest hair of his brothers, shoulder-length and wavy but with the same brown hue. His smile was more like a smirk, like he knew some joke no one else was in on. He had the same blue eyes as Nevan and Cillian, so striking against his pale skin.
“We miss them so much.” Karina’s gaze followed mine, looking at the painting.
Everyone else had gotten up from the table, and I overheard Nevan say, “Even high princes have to do the dishes” as Cillian shoved him.
“I’m sorry about your sons. I don’t understand why Wolfe stays away.”
“He’s punishing himself,” Karina said with a sigh. “He’s the oldest, and he’s somehow put it on his shoulders to protect all of us, which is impossible. Our second oldest, Lor, was... taken, and Wolfe blameshimself, even though it wasn’t his fault. After Lor disappeared, Wolfe visited a few times, but I think it was too much. Too painful. And instead of leaning on us like we all leaned on each other, he shrank away, shrank further into himself. He stopped talking to anyone and quit the royal guard.”
“It sounds like he loved his job,” I said.
“Oh yes, I was so proud of him,” Karina said. “He’s always loved being active, training, swordplay. Lor really admired him and wanted to follow in his footsteps. But after what happened, Wolfe didn’t feel worthy of being in the royal guard.” She sighed. “Then Cillian became high prince, and I suggested maybe Wolfe could be his personal guard, protect his brother. I regret that so much. I thought it would bring him out of his shell, but instead it just seemed to make him worse, more obsessive about fixing his past mistakes.”
A tear dripped down her cheek, and my heart splintered as I thought about all the pain this family had endured. All the pain Wolfe was holding inside. I didn’t realize until now how much he’d lost. Not just his little brother but his entire family. This loving, wonderful family who he needed—and they needed him too.
“Oh gosh.” Karina wiped a tear from her eye. “Look at me, getting all emotional when you’ve just come for dinner.”
I grabbed her hand. “No, please. It’s okay.” I looked at the painting, trying to lighten the mood with my next comment. “You have four strapping sons, that’s for sure.”
Karina snorted. “If only they could get their acts together.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring at each of their faces, my gaze lingering on Wolfe’s.
She huffed. “I want women around. It’s a breath of fresh air having you here for this dinner. Yet despite how ‘strapping’ they are, none of my sons seems to be interested in love.” She ticked off her fingers. “Wolfe, as you know, won’t let anyone get close to him. Cillian has always been more of a playboy.” She winced. “Sorry.”
“No.” I laughed. “He’s already told me all about his reputation.”
“And Nevan.” She tsked. “He’s so focused on alchemy and potions, he refuses to let anything distract him from his work. You know, heonce told me that he wasn’t even sure he believed in love.” She rubbed her temples.
This poor woman. She so desperately wanted her sons to find partners and love, and it seemed all of them were determined to do the opposite.
“Oh.” She touched her forehead. “I’m going to scare you away.”
“Never!” I laughed. “Besides, Wolfe has already told me a lot of this, and he told me everything that happened with Lor, so I was prepared.”
The entire room fell into silence. No—fell wasn’t the right word. It was as if I’d sucked the words, sucked everything from the room, while all eyes landed on me.
“Do I have something?” I patted my cheek.
Cillian stepped forward. “Wolfe told you about Lor? He talked about him? Out loud?”
Nevan and Jerome shot each other looks.
“Well, yes,” I said. “It was my fault.” I could feel myself talking faster and faster. “When the dragon wasps attacked, I ran away and hid, and Wolfe couldn’t find me, and the entire situation reminded him of what had happened with Lor, and he got scared and yelled a little.” I pinched my fingers together. “Well, a lot. But I yelled too.” My cheeks heated. “Not in a mean way, though. I was just letting him know it wasn’t okay to talk to me like that. But then he told me why he yelled, and it all made sense, and then I felt bad for yelling, and we made up.”
I gasped for air, thanking the mighty godwitches that I hadn’t just blurted out that we’d almost kissed in the process.
Everyone continued to stare, and Cillian’s mouth had fallen open.
