She tightened the blanket around her. “How would you know that?”
I thought of Lor, of the way I’d pushed everyone in my life away because of what had happened. “Because I’m traumatized, too, and I guess I see some of myself in you.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and I reached out to wipe one away, my thumb lingering against her soft skin until she met my gaze, and I snatched my hand away.
“So how do I fix it?” she asked, voice wobbly.
“I don’t know if you can,” I said honestly. I sure as fuck hadn’t figured out how to fix mine. “But you can change the way you think about it. Associate the fire with good thoughts: safety, warmth, comfort. When the fire is lit, remind yourself that you aren’t in danger, that no one is coming after you.”
She stared at the hearth, chewing the inside of her cheek. “I could try.”
“Good,” I said, then held out her scarf. “You left this at my cabin.”
“Oh.” She blinked a few times and reached out, her hand brushing mine as she grabbed the scarf. “I didn’t even realize it.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Of course.” She laughed, and it sounded unusually high-pitched. Great, I’d probably just made her uncomfortable again.
Suddenly I was all too aware of how alone we were, how intimate a setting this was, standing in her bedroom with her, and my gaze flicked to her bed before resting back on her face.
For once, I missed the damn bookwyrm.
“If you’re afraid to start a fire by yourself, you can come to my cabin. I can help you. I can be by your side.”
“Okay,” she said in a quiet voice. “I’d like that.” She cleared her throat. “You can let go, you know.”
I glanced down, the scarf still clutched in my hand, her own hand grabbing the other end.
“Yes.” I let go. “Well, I should be going. I’ll see you for training tomorrow.” I turned. “And there’s no rush on the fire, but when you’re ready, let me know.”
She gave me a soft smile as I walked out of the door, hearing her say, “See you around, sunshine,” floating after me as I left the room.
CHAPTER 23
Niamh
“Where are we going?” I trailed Cillian as we walked through Fairwitch Isle, the road curving around the castle and toward the back of the city. “You know Wolfe is going to kill you for sneaking out like this.”
“It’s not exactly sneaking out with Harriet following us.” He nodded his head behind us where the guard followed closely, her spiral brown hair poofing out from under her helmet. “And this is one instance where Wolfe is fully aware of where I’m going and what I’m doing. He’s the one choosing not to join.”
I looked at Cillian curiously, but he didn’t explain further, and I figured I’d find out where we were going soon enough. Fairwitch Isle wasn’t that big, and there were only so many places he could be taking me.
“How’s the library coming along?” Cillian asked. “You know, I was thinking we could have a grand opening. Or reopening. Drinks, food, music—it’ll be a huge party, where everyone can come and check outbooks.” He nudged me. “Maybe find a dark aisle and do a little reading.” He waggled his eyebrows, and my cheeks heated.
Had Wolfe told him about what happened between us? I couldn’t imagine Wolfe saying anything because it hadn’t meant anything to Wolfe. Which was good.
“That was supposed to be funny. Because I’m not actually talking about reading. Right over your head.” He whistled and moved his hand over his head.
I shoved him. “I understood. I’m just a little distracted.” I glanced into the distance, eyeing Wolfe’s lonely cabin at the top of one of the hills, wondering if he was there right now, thinking of some other kind thing to do for me. I couldn’t believe he was the one who’d put that fire godwitch statue in my room. I’d walked in one day, and it had just been sitting there, my room unusually free of its normal chill. I figured it had been Castle or maybe Cillian. But it was Wolfe. He’d noticed I was cold, and he’d... he’d done something really sweet. Then he’d brought my scarf back to me as if I didn’t have a million after that shopping trip to Ceri’s.
Cillian’s gaze followed mine to Wolfe’s cabin, and my gaze snapped away. I needed to get the guard out of my mind. This castle was never going to accept me if I started falling for the wrong brother, and Morton would never forgive me if I got us kicked out of Fairwitch Isle. He was living his best life in that library, and I was running out of time. I only had three weeks left. Three weeks to get the key, and I still had no clue what I was doing to get it.
As we walked, everyone we encountered dipped into bows, nodding their heads, chins touching their chests.
Cillian waved jovially, clearly enjoying the attention. We passed Ceri, her cloud of curly blond hair bouncing as she walked along the street.
“Ceri,” Cillian called, and she walked over, dipping into a bow.
