All the breath left my body at the sound of that voice. It broke through the pounding in my ears. That chirpy, annoying voice that I couldn’t seem to get out of my head.
I spun on my heel and marched toward an aisle in the back until I found Niamh standing there in front of an open door with cleaning supplies. She came out and walked to the bookshelves, using a duster to dust some of the books. I watched, chest heaving, all the pent-up energy rushing to my head, and I stomped toward her and grabbed her arm.
Niamh yelped and whirled so her back was against the bookshelf as I towered over her. “How are you in the library?” she asked. “No one’s been able to find it except us?—”
“Where were you?” I asked, my vision going blurry from anger and relief and some other emotion I couldn’t fucking explain.
“W-what?”
“I couldn’t find you anywhere,” I said.
“Stop yelling at me.” She raised her chin.
I hadn’t realized I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I needed her to know that what she’d done had been wrong. That she couldn’t just fucking leave and make me think she’d died. Make me think I’d lost her and that once again it had been my fault. I’d never forgive myself if I was the one responsible for snuffing out her brilliant light.
“You just came to this library?” I asked, voice ragged. “We were being attacked, and you just ran to some hidden place where I couldn’t find you and make sure you were safe?”
Her gaze turned fiery. “I did what you told me to do. I ran andfound a place to hide and stayed safe until the bells rang. Then I came out and couldn’t find you anywhere, so I thought you were with Cillian. I came to the castle to find you, but it shifted and brought me here. I figured that meant it wanted me to keep on task and clean.” Her gaze went distant for a moment. “Plus, I needed the distraction.”
Some of the pounding in my ears softened even further at that. She’d tried to find me, at least. “I told you to get to safety?” I asked, shaking my head.
She squinted at me. “Did you inhale some of that smoke? Yes, you told me to get to safety. I was following orders, sunshine. So if anyone is to blame for you not being able to find me, it’s you.”
I caged her in with my arms, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “Next time, you stay with me. You don’t run and hide. You stay with me, and that way I can know you’re safe.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” She shoved me with her hands, but I didn’t budge. “Not you. I’m not fragile. I don’t need you to coddle me.”
I gritted my teeth. “I will tell you what to do if it means making sure you’re okay.”
“Should I leave?” Both our heads snapped toward Morton as he slithered on the floor, and we both shouted “yes” at the same time.
“Okay, then,” he muttered.
Niamh jabbed a finger into my chest. “You’re being ridiculous.”
I knew she would say that. “And you’re not understanding the gravity of the situation.”
“Why do you care so much?” she asked.
“Because I almost lost you!” I burst out, and she stilled, all the fight draining from her, her fingers curling into my chest. “Because I didn’t know where you were and it fucking terrified me.” I raised a hand to caress her cheek, and she shuddered, turning her head into my palm, eyes fluttering. “I thought you were dead or that they’d taken you.”
“I’m right here, Wolfe.” She took my hand and pressed it to her beating heart, the warmth of her making that pounding dissipate completely. “I wouldn’t leave you, not without fighting back, not without defending myself. That’s why we’ve been doing the lessons, right?”
“Right.” I stared at her, stared into those green eyes that I’d been so afraid I’d never see again. A shade of green that needed its own name because it was so unique, that I got lost in every time I looked at her.
I dipped my head, needing to be closer to her in this moment, needing something... just something. I inhaled deeply, the scent of fresh paper and ink mixed with rose permeating my senses, making me dizzy with it. My lips hovered right over hers.
“Wolfe,” she said, voice raspy, but didn’t move, our breaths mingling together, our chests both heaving with the air we shared. Just a little closer, and I could capture those lips with mine; I could show Niamh just how much I needed her to be safe, to be by my side so I could protect her. I could show her so much more feeling with my mouth than my words, unlike Cillian, who was so good with his words.
“Cillian.” The name came out before I could stop it, and Niamh stiffened.
“Your brother?” she asked, eyes wide.
I cleared my throat and stepped away, my hand falling from where she’d pressed it to her heart. “Your betrothed.”
Niamh fanned herself, cheeks burning. “Well, he’s not exactly my betrothed. We agreed we wouldn’t have an official betrothal until the castle accepts me but...” She trailed off. “We got carried away in the moment,” she said with a nervous laugh.
I couldn’t even speak, so horrified by what I’d been about to do, so full of self-loathing. I thought she’d died or had gotten injured, and I hadn’t been thinking clearly, but I’d still crossed so many lines. “It’s my fault,” I said. “I was worried. Scared.”
