“Where to? For how long?” I asked, disappointed despite myself.
“Our manor near the border. I’ve not yet decided how long I’ll be gone. Days? Weeks? All I know is that I need to get away from all of this.” She gestured around the room.
Did this unexpected trip have anything to do with the conversation I’d overheard between her and Oriane? Had Oriane gotten what she wanted? Was Livia leaving because of her?
Not knowing how to coax the answers out of her without exposing my own eavesdropping, I asked, “Why are you leaving?”
“The castle no longer feels like home,” she said, her eyes shining. “Everything here reminds me of him.”
She looked like she needed comfort. The best I could do wasgive her hand a light squeeze as I said, “I understand. If it were me, I would probably do the same thing.” I hesitated. “I hope your leaving has nothing to do with Lady Oriane? I couldn’t help but notice you two seemed to be having a tense discussion after the Ceremony of Rites.”
She blinked, then rolled her eyes. “Oh that. No, no—that was nothing. It would take more than the likes of Oriane to chase me away from the castle.” She reached for my hand again. “It’s been positively delightful getting to know you. I do hope you’ll be here when I return.”
Disappointed by her blatant change in subject, I let the matter go for the time being. “Of course. I’ll remain here for as long as the king wills it,” I lied, looking down at my lap in feigned shyness.
At my words, she gave me the first proper smile I’d seen from her all day. “Well, if the heir has anything to say about it, then I have no doubt I can consider you a permanent resident of the castle. Perhaps even a prominent member of court. They say the king has been pushing him to marry,” she said suggestively, a glimmer of that familiar mischief in her eyes.
I shifted in my seat. “I wouldn’t be so certain about that.”
I hadn’t heard from Tarben since he left for the border, and worry had begun to gnaw at me. Not because I thought he’d been harmed—if there had been any bad news, I would have heard it by now—but because I was running out of time until the full moon. He hadn’t written to me, not even to let me know he was safe, like he’d said he would. He also swore he would hurry back to me, but it had been five days already.
Was it possible that the distance and time apart had made him reevaluate his feelings for me?Impossible. I couldn’t think like that. He was just preoccupied with the conflict, that was all.
“You’re too modest,” Livia said, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I’ve never seen our prince so enamored as he is withyou. If I had to speculate, I would say it’s love.”
At her words, warmth spread throughout my body. But it quickly disappeared when I remembered that he still hadn’t mentioned love.Yet.
“Oh, you’re blushing,” she said. “I apologize; I was being wicked. I’ll change the subject.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon in her company, chatting idly and laughing over her tales of petty court gossip. I broached the subject of Oriane a few more times but, just like before, she didn’t provide the details that I so desperately craved. It only made my curiosity burn stronger. But what else could I do? I had more chance of meeting my mate inThe Stag and Sternthan I had of Oriane telling me anything.
By the time I left Livia’s quarters, I couldn’t help but feel the pinch of regret. In another life, I may have been able to call her a friend. But, just like my relationship with Tarben, it would never be real. This ruse would soon come to an end and I would return to my old life with everything I’d ever wanted.
What I couldn’t understand was why a crabapple sized lump formed in my throat when I thought about what I would have to do to get it.
Chapter 36
To my relief, I received a letter from Tarben the following morning.
Dear Alara,
I’m sorry for not writing sooner—the situation has been more turbulent than expected.
I wanted you to know that I’m safe, and I have good news. With the threat at the border now largely neutralized, I’ll be returning home in a few days.
You have been on my mind. Constantly.
Yours,
T.
My heart fluttered at his words. He was returning to the castle soon. I still had time. Not much, but I could make it work. I had no other choice but to.
Feeling lighter, I waited for Runa to deliver breakfast, but she didn’t arrive. Instead, a maid I recognized from around the castle appeared in my bedchamber.
“Where’s Runa?” I asked.
“She’s resting. She’s not feeling well today, Miss.”
