“Where is Prince Tarben?” I asked, my voice sharp.
“Would you like to take a seat?” He gestured to the chairs in front of a grand walnut desk.
“Where is he?” I repeated. It wasn’t the question of a jilted mortal girl, but the command of a future queen.
Helvig had the good sense to take a small step backwards. “Unfortunately, His Highness is otherwise occupied with wedding planning. He sent me to speak with you in his stead. Is there something I may possibly assist you with?” he asked, as if we were meeting to discuss the kingdom’s taxes.
That fucking coward.My fists clenched at my sides. “This is a private matter between Prince Tarben and myself. When will Ibe able to speak with him?”
Folding his hands behind his back, he frowned. “An audience with His Highness will not be possible until after the wedding, I’m afraid.”
“I see.” I tilted my head. I was trying to remain calm, but, underneath, I could feel the anger churning like magma, ready to erupt. “And does His Highness send you to extinguish all of his old flames? If so, being Royal Adviser must be very busy work for you.”
He looked down his nose at me, as if I was a child throwing a temper tantrum. The anger inside of me rose to dangerous levels. “I understand you are upset—”
I laughed humorlessly.
“But His Highness has chosen his bride. The best thing for you to do is to move on. You are a nice girl of exceptional beauty. Provided you avoid any scandal involving the prince, I have no doubt you’ll be able to secure yourself a fine husband. Perhaps even a lord.”
Seru, spare me these thick-headed mortals.“Yes, because winning a husband is allanice girllike me could ever aspire towards in this kingdom,” I said, the sarcasm heavy on my tongue. “After all, our only purpose is to carry your names and your heirs. You fucking men,” I spat, shaking in anger.
Lord Helvig’s eyes widened. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he said, “Now, I don’t think there’s any need for that kind of—”
“Is it a love match?” I demanded, crossing my arms. Would it hurt any less if it wasn’t?
Helvig shifted his weight, wringing his hands. I almost felt sorry for him, having to do the prince’s dirty work. “His Highness insists it is. In fact, he’s demanded that the wedding be held tomorrow.”
My heart dropped into the sinkhole that was my stomach.My mouth was dry but, somehow, I managed to formulate words. “Tomorrow?”
He cleared his throat. “You are, of course, most welcome to attend. I only ask that you do not cause a scene for the happy couple.”
“But…” My eyes fell on a detailed map of Anerdor that claimed a significant patch of wall space. I couldn’t understand how Tarben could be so convincing to make me believe he cared about me. I shook my head. What little hope remained in me keeled over and died. “He was only just talking about marrying me.”
The pitying look he gave me caused what remained of my pride to wither and my eyes to water.How could this have happened?All this time I thought I was in control, when in fact, it was Tarben who was manipulating me.
My fingernails dug into my palms and my jaw clenched so tightly that it hurt. Still, I had to know, “Did His Highness have anything to say to me? Anything at all?”
Helvig straightened. “Prince Tarben would like you to know that he will forever be indebted to you for saving his sister and his brother. And he wishes you well.”
Biting down on my lip, I nodded once. Hewished me well? That was almost worse than hearing he was in love with Oriane. Almost. I couldn’t take any more of this. It hurt too much.
“I see,” I said again, even though I did not. “Well, I suppose I should thank you for your time. Tell the prince I hope the two of them are happy together. They certainly deserve each other.” I could taste the bitterness in my words. Without waiting for a response, I turned and stormed out of the room.
You will not cry. You will not cry. You will not cry.
The worst part was that I knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that I failed at my task. I failed my kingdom. I failed myself. And now, because of my arrogance, I would be bound tothe Crow for eternity.
For the first time in my life, I had no idea what I was going to do next.
Chapter 41
With unbidden tears falling down my face, I hurried towards the entrance hall. I needed to get out of the castle. I needed to go somewhere I could think clearly and plan my next moves.
I had just reached the entrance hall when I overheard two maids talking. “The ceremony is to be held tomorrow at sunset. Can you believe it? Prince Tarben has insisted he will not wait a day longer. Meanwhile, Lady Oriane has been running Ingrid off her feet. As if there hasn’t just been another murder—”
Eyes cast downward, I kept walking until I reached the familiar oak doors. I stepped outside and shivered, immediately regretting not going back to my bedchamber to grab my cloak. I looked above and saw that a cover of clouds had convened. Wrapping my arms around my body, I quickly made my way across the gardens to the hedge maze. I moved forward cautiously as I navigated its twists and turns.
Maybe I should have gone the other way. Being in the maze only made me think of Tarben, which was the last thing I wanted to do right now. No, what I needed was to keep my mind focused on things that were inside of my control. Things like what I would do now that I was facing certain doom.
