I stumble forward, grasping at nothing. The cavern is empty except for the casket, the salt circles, the scattered bones.
He was never there.
Shit, I’m losing it.
I stare at the space where Ruth stood and I realize the bond is not the only thing I need to cage.
My own guilt. My own ghosts.
They're all waiting for the eclipse too.
I turn away from the casket and begin the slow journey back to consciousness. The cavern folds in on itself, walls dissolving into mist and shadow until there's nothing left but darkness.
Returning from dormancy is always disorienting. I'm caught between worlds momentarily, neither fully in my mind nor fully in my body. Then I open my eyes.
Cottage walls settle into focus around me. The physical world returns piece by piece. First the warmth of the fire, then the weight of blankets, then the soft sound of snow against glass.
Rhianelle sleeps beside me, exactly as I left her. She hasn't moved. Her breathing is slow and even, her face peaceful in the dim light. I reach out slowly and trace the line of her jaw with one finger.
The bond stirs beneath my skin, satisfied by this small claim.
I pull my hand back.
Rhianelle deserves the truth. She deserves to know what's coming and what I'll become during the eclipse. I should wake her now and tell her everything. That would at least give her the choice to leave while she still can.
But I'm a coward.
I'm a monster who's found something precious and I can't bear the thought of letting it go. Even if keeping her means she'll see the worst of me.
I'll tell her tomorrow,I promise myself. When the sun rises and she wakes in my arms, I'll find the words and make her understand.
The lie sits bitter on my tongue.
Because I know I won't. Tomorrow will come and I'll find another excuse, another reason to wait.
I close my eyes and try not to think about it. There's no point in worrying her when I might find a way to strengthen the chains before the eclipse. Hrolf promised he would help me forge chains that cannot be broken.
The bond's laughter echoes in the back of my mind. He is waiting patiently. He has waited centuries already. What's a few more nights?
Rhianelle shivers slightly in her sleep. I pull the blanket higher over her shoulders, tucking it around her carefully. She settles again with a soft sound, burrowing deeper into the warmth. Her hand finds mine beneath the covers.
Even in sleep she's drawn to me.
The thought breaks something in my chest. All the fear and longing pour out from the cracks.
Rhianelle's fingers tighten around mine in her sleep, holding on like I'm her anchor.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to the darkness.
The eclipse is coming.
When it does, there will be nowhere left to hide.
Soon every carefully constructed lie crumbles and Rhianelle will see the monster I really am. I bury my face in her neck, breathing in her water lily scent. I want to wake her with kisses, want to pull her beneath me and show her everything the bond whispered about but gentler and more careful than that hungry thing could ever manage.
Rhianelle suddenly moves.
She slips from the bed so quietly. If I were mortal, I would have missed it entirely. Her bare feet make no sound on the wooden floor. This preternatural silence is how my wife survived the forbidden forest of Astefar.
