"I've been resting for days," she protests. "I'm tired of sleeping."
"Recovering isn't weakness."
"Tell that to the kingdom that needs its queen." Her voice tightens. "People are dying. The war continues. And I'm lying here being useless."
"You're healing," I correct quietly.
She exhales, the sharpness draining from her. "I know. It's just… difficult. Feeling helpless."
Helpless.
The word cuts close to wounds still raw. I understand that better than she knows.
She leans forward slightly despite the pain, studying me now. "What happened to you?"
I shouldn't reveal anything about my fallen legion or the betrayal that sent me into hiding. I don't want to give her anything real. But something about her presence, the way she listens, loosens my tongue.
"I was betrayed by someone I trusted," I say carefully. "The fae king arranged for an attack that wiped out most of my command."
"I'm sorry," she says, and there is nothing performative in it. Only quiet grief. "That must have been devastating."
It was annihilation. But I only nod.
Silence stretches between us.
She breaks it first.
"There are gaps in my memory." She isn't looking at me now, her gaze fixed somewhere beyond the wall. "I don't remember much of my life before…"
My heart rate increases. This is dangerous territory.
"People speak to me with familiarity I don't share," she continues slowly. "That man… the vampire who came with you. He looks at me like I should know him. But when I try to remember, there's nothing."
Her fingers press to her temple. Pain flickers across her face.
I keep my expression carefully neutral. "Memory loss isn't uncommon after severe trauma."
What a miserable situation to be in. A fae can't lie. But I need to play along or the vampire will kill me.
She's watching my face closely.
Her hand moves to her chest. "There's a space carved out. When I try to focus on it, my head throbs."
"Don't force it," I say quickly. "You could damage yourself."
"But it should be there," she insists. "It feels important."
The moment she strains toward the memory again, I see the pain hit sharply. Her breath hitches. Her hands move to her head as if something inside is stabbing her.
I should follow Arescaine's orders. Keep the truth buried. But I'm going to kill her anyway. So why does it matter if I come clean? Might as well just go to Hel with it.
"Some things are better left alone," I say instead. "At least until you're stronger."
The pain fades as she withdraws from the attempt.
"Why does it hurt to remember?"
Because someone carved him out of you.
