"I'm tired, not broken." She cups my face with both hands, forcing me to meet her eyes. "I'm not some fragile flower, Svenn."
But she winces when she tries to shift position. I can see how her legs tremble with exhaustion. The bond inside me purrs with satisfaction at the visible proof of our claiming. But the rest of me wants to gather her up and spend the next century making amends.
"Let me take care of you," I say, needing to do something, to atone for my loss of control. "Please."
Rhianelle nods and I gather her carefully into my arms. She's so light, so trusting as she rests her head against my chest.
The den has a natural hot spring in the back chamber. The wolves who once claimed this territory valued it for the healing properties of the water. It's one of the reasons Red chose this place to imprison me. I had not been enthusiastic about the suggestion when he made it. But Shade's counter-offer had been a stable beside a pig sty.
Steam rises from the carved stone basin. The water is kept perpetually warm by the geothermal springs deep beneath the mountain. I test the temperature with my hand before lowering her in.
She sighs as the heat envelops her. I watch the tension slowly bleed from her muscles. "This is perfect," she murmurs, eyes already drifting closed.
I climb in behind her, settling so she can lean back against my chest. For a long moment I just hold her, feeling her breathe and counting her heartbeats. I reassure myself over and over that she's alive and whole despite my best efforts to break her.
I wash her with all the tenderness I failed to show earlier, letting the warm spring water cascade over her skin. My hands move slowly as they glide over the marks I made in mindless passion. Each bruise is a testament to my lack of control. Each bite mark a reminder of the beast I became. I memorize every single one of them. She makes soft sounds of contentment as I work.
"I was terrified,"I admit quietly as I work the warm spring water through her tangled silver hair. "When I felt the bond break free. All I could think was that I was going to hurt you."
"You didn't," she mumbles, so trusting it hurts.
“I might have.” My hands remain gentle as I smooth warm water over her shoulders. “If you hadn’t been strong enough to handle it—”
"But I was."Her hand finds mine under the water, squeezing with what little strength she has left. "I am. That's what matters, Svenn. Even when the bond had complete control, you kept me safe. That's who you are."
I wantto argue but she's falling asleep in the warm water, exhausted beyond measure. I don't want to disturb her fragile peace.
When I wash between her legs, she hisses slightly and I curse myself again. The bond stirs inside me, disgruntled as I rinse away the traces of us from her.
The fuck are you doing?It growls.
I ignore the primal urge and continue cleaning her gently.
Yes, she chose to accept the bond fully. But that doesn't mean I let him run completely wild without any restraint. She deserves better than a mate who can't control his own instincts.
Her hand slides sleepily between her legs, touching herself with unconscious need.
"Still?" I ask.
"I can't help it," she whispers without opening her eyes.
The bond purrs satisfaction. I push it down quickly. She needs rest but I can give her this much. I let my fingers replace hers, touching her and finding the rhythm I know she needs.
She comes apart quickly, a soft cry that's more relief than passion. Finally, she goes truly limp in my arms.
"Svenn," she calls softly, my name a whisper in her sleep.
"I'm here, little fawn," I murmur against her damp hair.
I finish bathing her in reverent silence and lift her carefully from the water. She's boneless now, barely conscious as I dry her with the softest furs I can find. Her trust in me is absolute even after everything. The weight of that faith is almost more than I can bear.
I carry her back to the main chamber and ease her on the bed, pulling furs over her trembling form. She immediately curls into me, one hand clinging like she's afraid I'll leave.
As if I could ever leave her after what we just shared. Rhianelle looked at the very worst of me and chose to stay anyway.
I hold her while she sleeps, unable to look away from her peaceful face. The bond is quiet and sated now rather than raging against its chains. It's part of me now instead of something I have to constantly fight.
Rhianelle did that.
