The thought stung more than I cared to admit.
My hand trembled as I unbuckled the leather straps on my bag. Digging inside, I managed to pull together enough cloth to bind her knee so it wouldn’t move. She groaned when I settled her back against the bedroll. A stab of pain caught my attention, and I brushed my fingers down the side of her torso. That same surge occurred. Her ribs must have been broken too.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do for that. She needed a real healer. I didn’t even have enough potions to take the edge off her agony for more than a few days. And if she remained asleep like this, moving would be slow-going.
“We’re only three days from the next town big enough to house a healer if we fly,” I grumbled, rubbing the back of my neck to relieve the headache knotting at the base of my skull. I wasn’t sure who I was speaking to, only that I needed to say something to get out of my own fucking head. “We can shave time off our journey that way too. Don’t have to stick to the carved paths. I can carry her beneath me with my magic and strength.”
The glacial color of my irises meant I had a tremendous well to pull from. But I didn’t like draining myself completely, not when I might need my power for other things.
The woods were thick and only grew thicker the closer we ventured toward Sivy. Which was why there wereofficially maintained roads throughout. Without constant intervention, the trees would reclaim their territory.
“If we leave now, while she’s asleep, she’ll be more comfortable.” Maybe if I spoke the words aloud, the Goddess would hear me. And maybe this time, she’d grant me this one fucking reprieve rather than cursing me further.
With a twist of my hands, I snaked white around my mate.
My mate.
The word lodged a blade beneath my ribs.
I gathered up the last of our things and slung the combined pack over my shoulders. Stepping beneath Sylaira, I caught her in my arms. She whimpered, and again, the weight of my actions pressed into my shoulders.
We emerged into the wet forest, and Ilae swooped from overhead, a glow amid the mist.
“Follow us,” I told him, calling on my wings. White feathers sprouted on my back, and I flapped them a few times, gently taking us airborne. We sailed toward the canopy, seeking the sky.
I hoped the shift out of dull gray wouldn’t wake her. The last thing I needed was for her to make this flight even more miserable than it would already be.
Once we broke through the last of the leaves and heavy clouds, we emerged to a brilliant afternoon sun. The light glittered off the lingering droplets from the downpour. In the distance, the peaks of the Skala Mountains loomed, fierce and judgmental. I put them at my back as I sailed northwest, toward the main road that led from the lake country to the capital of the Angel Realm.
Toward a place that could heal my mate, to take care of her, because I could not.
Nor could I control my emotions. Rein in this unraveling. Force myself not to feel.
My father had been right all along.
I was a fucking failure. A weapon, forged from impure metal.
And no matter how hard I tried, I’d never protect what was mine.
Only break it brutally.
18
Stadur bloomed like a ghostflower along the forest’s edge, so close and yet still so elusive. I’d flown nearly nonstop for days to reach it, and white thinned to gossamer in my well. Burnout crept across my limbs, freezing the flesh and chilling me from the inside out.
It was by sheer will alone I was still airborne.
Only a fraying light remained around Sylaira’s leg, the last of my power I could offer. My biceps screamed from hours of holding her flush against me—and it was only because of the potions I continued to give her that I was able to carry her at all.
Smoke curled from chimneys like beacons of warmth and safety. The rain had not relented, not since before Sylaira tried and failed to run from me. In fact, it seemed to have only intensified since our bond snapped into place.
My vision tunneled to how the streams of heat undulated inthe air as I devoured the remaining distance to them with strained, desperate wingbeats. The last of the trees disappeared behind me, revealing the nearly-empty city square, the residents all wisely keeping indoors against the deluge.
To my utter shock, a very familiar figure stalked through the center, barking orders at a group of soldiers. But his gaze was intently fixed on a female, hands wrapped around the bars of her cage, lips curled back from her teeth. She flung harsh words in his direction, those behind her cowering as my second-in-command approached.
I glided to a stop beside his cartful of Angels. The moment my feet touched the ground, fatigue forced the feathers into my back.
Maelsar started at the sight of me, the Elessarum forgotten. “Vaeron?” And then his attention fell on the bundle in my arms. “Is that?—”
