Because even though he’d hunted me down, even though he’d killed people right in front of me, he’d protected me timeand time again. Given me daily doses of virelthorn because he knew I would rather die than See.
And for whatever fucked up reason…that weighed more heavily than most of his sins against me.
Because it was what I had always wanted and never had.
That safety. That devotion.
I hobbled back to my room, the healer forgotten when agony lived where I used to.
“Sylaira,” Heraphia breathed, racing into my room as I closed the door behind me with a sob.
I reached for her. We collapsed together like birds with broken wings, feathers soaked in sorrow instead of rain.
Only she had the strength to guide us to a chair. “What happened?”
“He’s–he’s,” I choked out, unable to continue.
“Breathe,” she soothed, the familiar warmth of her skin anchoring me. She smoothed her hand over my unbound hair, working out the tangles as I gathered the ability to speak.
I inhaled—shaky, jagged. “He’s going to sleep with Dasha.”
“What a prick,” she scoffed, holding me tighter. “He doesn’t deserve you, Sylaira. I don’t know why the Goddess bonded you to him. But it’s abundantly clear it was a colossal mistake.”
“You’re right about that,” I sniffed, snatching for threads of calm. But my head was clouded, thick with the fog of fury and heartbreak. “I want to go home.”
But what was home, truly?
We’d left that place long ago, always running, always hiding from the crown because of our power.
The barrier to keep the Issaraeth out of my head held strong, firm and unyielding. He didn’t get tofeeleverything he’d done to me.
But it didn’t shut out the tempest that raged from his side.Not that he ever showed those emotions to anyone other than me. It was difficult to believe he truly possessed them.
Fuck him. He wasn’t allowed to be upset about this—not after what he said.
“I do too. I miss Zuriel so much.” Heraphia’s voice fractured on her husband’s name.
I lifted my head and met her gaze. “Then let’s go find him.”
Her brows shot up her forehead. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am.” It was reckless, trying to escape here. But this maelstrom inside me was self-destructive, and rationally cowered beneath it. What did I have to lose at this point, really?
And it would only serve to tarnish the Issaraeth if we escaped out from under his nose.
“All we have to do is wait in the garden until the guards pass by. Then we run for the wall. We’ll fly over and up into the canopy. The forest is thick on the west side. We’ll lose them easily.”
“What about Vaeron?” she asked.
Because, of course, our bond would lead him straight to us.
“He hasn’t chased after me yet. He won’t now that he knows he has a more willing female to warm his bed,” I said, nails digging into my palms until that pain grounded me against his betrayal.
“We go at dusk then,” Heraphia said, backing away from me and toward my wardrobe. I joined her there, shifting through all the clothes provided to us and finding the darkest fabric.
“Yes. And we eat dinner like normal. We can say we’re going for a walk after since I didn’t make it to the healer today and need to strengthen my knee. They won’t deny us.”
Truly, the Sightkeepers and servants allowed us free reign of our space. With so many of them around, watchful eyes were ever present. For ourprotectionof course.
