I was going to puke.
Lie down, cover your head, and wait for Death to finish the job.
Except before I could pass out in my own vomit, this bear shrank right in front of my eyes. Limbs rearranging in a wildly disturbing way, fur disappearing, the animal transformed until a naked Monty straightened before me.
“Hiya,” he sang. He covered his groin with both hands. “Sorry about that. Didn’t bring an extra pair of undies.”
My heart stuttered and restarted.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
Monty adjusted the grip on his junk and pointed a finger at the bear spray in my hand. “The safety clip. You have to poke it away with your thumb.”
Oh. I’d forgotten about that.
“In case it wasn’t clear, I was busy panicking.”
With adrenaline still surging through my body, I took the scenic route from Monty’s immense shoulders, along the furry arrow over his round but firm stomach, and to his thick, sculpted thighs and calves. And I now knew how fat that dick was whenhard. Montgomery Wolf looked like a snack, a dinner, and a dessert.
But then something clicked in my brain. I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Did you follow me?”
“Not from the start, no. I was at the grocery store and met Morris, and he said that Chickie had smelled a black bear in the woods behind the school this morning and was about to track it down and scare it off. Knowing you were headed on a hike, I got worried about you. I found the note you left and went to find you.”
My usual reaction to something like that would be to sulk, but I couldn’t be mad at him, could I?
“Good call, I guess.” I still sounded grumpy as hell. “I thought I managed to intimidate it, but I didn’t, did I?”
Monty squared his shoulders, his expression turning serious. “You were doing an outstanding job.”
“But it only left because you appeared.”
“Maybe.” He smiled sheepishly and hopped from foot to foot.
“Aren’t you freezing?”
“I’m good.”
“You can change back, it’s okay. I won’t freak out when I know it’s you.”
“You should come back, though. I’ll let Chickie know we’ve seen the bear up here. He’ll chase it off.”
“I was about to go down anyway. I’m done for today.”
Monty waggled his eyebrows. “Want a ride?”
Did he have a car somewhere close? The map didn’t show any roads around here. “How?”
“I’ll take you to the edge of town before I go find Chickie. Hop on.”
And he burst into fur. The giant bear turned his back to me and dropped on all fours. Then he wiggled his butt, his little tail swaying.
I let out a shuddering breath. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Monty, the grizzly, looked over his shoulder and winked.
So, I walked up to him and, holding on to lumps of fur on his neck, I climbed up. He was nearly as tall as a damned horse.
