“How did that happen?” I ask.
He looks over his shoulder at my question, his lips lifting the corners into a half smile. “It’s not on your conscience, little doe.”
“Why do you call me that?” I step closer, stopping at the threshold of the bathroom, holding the door jamb as he runs the water to clean his wounds.
“A doe is flighty, fearful of the sounds around her. It’s not for the reasons man thinks as he arrogantly steps into her territory.” He wets a washcloth and looks down, wiping around the cuts. “When bucks fight, their violence is expected. Yet, a doe? There’s something magnificent in a fearful creature finding their strength, protecting what belongs to them.”
“So you think I’ll overcome my fear?”
“No, I know you’re afraid. I know you fight in spite of fear. It’s easy for those who have nothing to sacrifice that emptinesssince they don’t have to part with anything other than their own ego. You,little doe—”He turns as he continues cleaning around his cuts. “—were fearful, but you only fought to protect someone you deemed yours. You’ve always been Kane’s armor. Even as a girl, when you thought he was holding your hand, you were holding his too.”
“It’s kind of creepy you were watching us, but that bitch is your mother, so I get it.”
His lips twitch again, which I translate as a laugh.
“Do you want me to help you? I can do stitches,” I offer, taking half a step forward.
“I’m equipped to deal with the repercussions of my family. As you eloquently stated, that bitch is my mother.”
I pause, staying beside the door because it’s disconcerting to stand in front of someone with the same face as a monster. Kane and Asher always existed separately to me. I could split their actions from their looks, but with Lennox, it’s harder. He dips his head, hiding his eyes like he knows how freaky they are in my memory.
“I know you’re not him,” I whisper.
“I understand.” He turns back around and the loneliness that always clung to Kane is in front of me like it’s traveled through time and his bloodline to fix itself to his uncle.
“I’m sorry, it must be difficult for you to be associated with someone who has done the things he has. I can’t imagine what it was like for you growing up with them here.”
“Both you and Kane have a need to pity those around you. I’ll give you the same advice I gave him. Bury your humanity. It’s the only way you’ll survive.”
29
KANE
Rowan has requested I watch his captives, so I’m stuck in a shitty room full of screens when I could be playing charades with Kid. Thankfully, no one has disturbed him in the days since Lennox has been gone. It doesn’t reduce the fear of them entering the room while I’m not there.
I turn in the chair, hitting the switch to increase the volume as the captives blindly search for one another now that they’ve been released from the wall after Rowan’s torture. The plain black hoods over their heads can’t be removed due to being attached to the collars around their necks. I almost wish I could tell them to rip through the material.
I’m taking Lennox’s advice to disassociate from them. If I don’t say their names, then I’m not hurting a Kristiane or a Decker. If I call them captives—male and female—they’re less human, so I might be able to save myself from this shit once this is over.
“Decker,” the female croaks, ruining my fucking plan as they use their voices to find each other. Once they do, he quickly wraps his arms around her. Bloody and bruised, they cling to each other, with the female sitting over his thighs, wrappingher legs around him as they each lay their head on the other’s shoulder. They continue whispering to each other.
I have to increase the volume to hear them as he asks, “Why do you think he’s going to come for you?”
“Because they did it for my sister, so they’ll do it again for me.”
They never say names of anyone who’s alive, but they seem to understand who the other is talking about as they switch topics. She reaches behind her, pressing her hand over the initials inked on his forearm. “They’ll come for you too. He’ll have one shoe on and call you a stupid name even though your name is already stupid.”
“An even stupider name?”
“Yeah.” She laughs weakly. “She’ll make you cake.”
A new torture session must be starting as a group of masked guards walk through the hallway, leading to the thick steel door they’re locked behind. He tightens his arms around her, pushing into her ribs and curling his fingers around her hips on the opposite side as he promises, “I won’t let anyone touch you.”
She strokes the back of his head, softly whispering, “Let me go, Decker, it’s okay.” Then kisses his shoulder. “It’s okay, I’ll be okay.”
He stands to his full height as he turns so the chain is against the wall. Even without his sight, he manages to push her against the wall, using his body as a barrier to stop anyone reaching her. The locks click, hiss, then the door opens and Rowan is in the center of the five guards who enter. He’s dressed in an all-black three-piece suit and a tinted black mirror mask, while the others are in black skull masks.
He stops in the middle of the room, asking the captives, “Who instructed you to search for me?”
