“When I was a girl, I lived on the other side of the island.” She brings the fork to her lips and slowly chews. “The house you sought refuge in was my childhood home.”
Is she angry at me?
Wait, what the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t care if she’s pissed at me. There’s so much unease in my muscles, I don’t even know how to react or what to say. If I apologize, I’m apologizing to the bitch who took my baby from me. If I scream,she’ll take away this civility when I don’t have Kane to stop me going insane.
So I say nothing. I silently eat the cake while questioning if I haven’t already lost my mind. It’s a possibility. I could still be in the hospital, trapped in a drug-induced fugue state. Or this is real and I’m still searching for a way to have some control. If this is all a fabrication of my mind, it’s just that—my mind, not other people manipulating me.
“Did you know Isadora well?” Helene asks as she taps the tines of her fork against the rim of her plate.
“She was friendly.”
Helene hums, tapping against the plate again as the kettle begins to boil. “I understand from Lizbeth, Isadora wasn’t particularly social.”
I nod, taking another forkful of cake.
“You spent a lot of time in their house while you were sampling both brothers,” she says.
This rude fucking bitch.
“I was notsamplingthem.”
“Were you not moving from one bed to another?” She raises a brow, swaying her fork side to side.
“That’s not what happened.”
“Oh, sweet girl, I am not judging you. Both identical, each with their own set of talents but physically the same. One had a stronger mind, the other led by his heart. Who could fault you for taking what was always meant to be yours?”
She’s diminishing everything between Kane and I. It wasn’t sordid or some exciting thrill of cheating, sneaking around. It obviously factored into it because I was scared of getting caught, but it wasn’t the sole reason.
“I never loved Asher,” I grit. “I never enjoyed spending time with him or even talking to him. It was always Kane. It. Will. Always. Be. Kane.”
The tea kettle begins bubbling faster while she hums like I’m lying. “Asher was a talented boy, but he wouldn’t have kept you. He asked for a concession: to be the one to solidify the bond between our families, then he would have given you to Kane.” She leans forward, her smile widening. “You see, sweet girl, I was always going to give Kane to you. He is the shadow, the one meant to live a boring life while Asher was destined to be here by my side. But you set fire to your future. In turn, you ruined more than your own life.”
“What do you mean? A boring life?”
She sits back in her chair, lines the corners of a napkin up as she says, “Lennox is the shadow—the second born. He attended a prestigious school, became friends with influential figures from every industry.Thatis a boring life, like you and Kane had discussed. The careers which would never really satisfy your need for wealth, the family you could’ve had that would never become anything of importance.”
The bubbling gets louder, but she lowers her voice as she looks up, still folding the napkin.
“But you couldn’t endure your service to get that life. Kane would have graduated, went to a school where he would learn how to build bigger and better machines. He would have received all the funding necessary for his technology company, as another cog working towards advancements that already exist. Like diamonds, we can’t devalue the product by allowing everyone to have access.”
She picks up another napkin, folding it in a different pattern than the last.
“You would have mourned Asher,” she says softly. “As a family. The story would be one of finding love in grief, you for the love you lost and Kane for his brother. In your shared grief, you would have fallen so deeply in love with each other no one would see my hands working in the shadows.”
Another napkin, another intricate folding technique.
“Out there, in the boring life, you would have been allowed love. But,” she joins the three folded napkins together as the kettle whistles, “you burnt it.”
Helene holds the origami lion she’s made on her palm as she pushes her chair back. Leaning to the side, she removes the tea kettle to stop the whistling as steam blows out in a clean, powerful line beside her hand. She holds the tail of the lion to the flame of the burner. The spark starts small, then it quickly engulfs the napkin animal. When it reaches its rump, she smothers the embers with her thumb and forefinger before setting it on the table. Only for it to topple over without the stability of the tail to keep it upright.
“One fire by a stupid teenage girl altered the steadiness I created.” She stands, lifts the tea kettle, and pours the boiling water over the napkin. The scalding water splashes up against my hands and I pull them away from the table, wincing while she continues her theatrics. “I corrected it by dismantling you along with all my plans.”
She drops the tea kettle in the middle of the table. It wobbles before it falls onto its side, sending the boiled water running in my direction. Collecting her stick resting on the back of a chair, she walks away while I push out of my seat to escape being burnt.
The water flows over the edge, thicker than normal water, clinging to everything it touches. I look down at the red dots under the blob of cooling liquid where the water landed, but the taps of her stick stop. She pauses in the hallway to say, “Delilah? Anna traded your life for her freedom. You’re alone with me now.”
It was all a ploy to make me think she’s not totally crazy. She used me to make my parents feel like shit. Now I’m alone with her, it’s back to the regularly scheduled programming of toyingwith me. I’d rather she whipped me than fuck with my head. If she beats me, I can watch it heal, I know it happened. If she plays with my head again, I’ll be trapped. The confusion is the worst pain I’ve ever felt and it made me doubt my life, my memories, my baby.
