“I thought I dropped you.” He sighs in relief, sinking against the glass at his back.
“You didn’t.” Lifting his hand from the ledge, I bring it to my lips and kiss his knuckles. “Remember to hate me again when you come inside.”
He nods without any conviction.
“Kane, you have to do it. Hit me, try to kill me again, make her believe it or she’ll keep punishing you.”
“I should fucking kill her,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face.
He better fucking not.
The stupid leash gets caught on the window latch as I climb out, kneeling beside him so whatever surveillance is in the room doesn’t pick up our voices.
“You can’t. There’s no way for us to get off this island. You need to make her believe you’ll work with Rowan, so she arranges it.”
His face twists but I’m going to fucking hit him if he tries to go against my plan. I don’t know what time we fell asleep, but it was dark, and he was close to throwing up after I told him about our families’ collective businesses. All the memories alongside Melantha’s information have given me the details I need. We have to let them keep thinking I’m crazy or stupid so we can be a step ahead of them.
“Let me hold you one more time,” he whispers as he weakly smiles. “Once, before we go back to the charade of their lies.”
I crawl forward but the leash tugs me back. He softly laughs, stretching around me to unhook it. “In another life, I’d like you like this.”
“Pretend it is.” I climb over his thighs, straddling him as I wrap my arms around his neck. “Pretend this is all a role-playing game where I’m giving my husband permission.”
Warmth spreads down my back as he uses both hands to massage down my back to cup my ass, his fingers brushing the thin edge of the metal. “No one can touch you now.”
I hug him tighter in gratitude for not dismissing me. He listened to me, actually took in the information as he fought through the voice in his head telling him I’m a liar. Kane finally believes me. Now we both know the truth. After years of manipulation and lies, we’re on equal footing with the monsters.
“You made me think you were dead,” I whisper, kissing his cheek. “This will be easy.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, pulling me back to look into my eyes.
Two words aren’t enough to undo what he did, but they’re enough of a bridge in our current situation. When we leave this place and everyone’s dead, we can part ways knowing I’ll forgive him. I’ll never trust him enough to be in a relationship, but wehave a vested interest in our families downfall, so I can trust him with our common goal.
The boy I loved doesn’t exist. In his place is a broken man who loses energy with each slow blink as he stares so deeply into my eyes it becomes hard to breathe. I hold his wrist like I’m afraid of it as I bring his hand to the locking mechanism against my waist. “You need to take this off.”
Smoothly moving his hand up my body, he cups my chin while I ignore the way goosebumps rise in the wake of his touch. Those pale green eyes remain on me as he blinks some of the desolation away. “Why?” Before I can bring up our plan, he says, “I don’t want to fuck you. It’s staying on.”
At least I’ve found a remedy to the goosebumps. I slap his hand away, huffing. “How nice, I don’t want to touch you either.”
Lie.
I want him to keep holding me, so on those lonely nights when my self-esteem dips—I tell myself having someone who treats me like shit is better than being alone—I’ll be able to recall how warm it is against his chest, how his biceps flex as he tightens his arms around me, how comforting it is to feel his chest move under my cheek.
“You know what I mean, pretty girl.” Resting his cheek on my crown, he hides me in his chest as he pulls the thin chiffon up to my waist. “Not here with these fuckers as an audience where I have to hurt you because of them.” He hesitates as he picks the key up from the side of the ledge.
“What if I said I like it when you hurt me?” I wrap my arms around him, pushing my hands under his t-shirt as he holds my waist, pressing the icy metal key to my skin.
“I like hurting you,” he whispers. “I like hearing you scream for me, seeing you run.”
There hasn’t been a single moment in my life I was in control outside of Kane. He was mine and he was the only person whowould ever stop if I wanted him to. But I can’t keep chasing the elusive feeling of more. More fear, more distractions, more attention, more, more, more until I overloaded on it to keep the painful memories away.
Now they’re back, I can’t lose them.
I keep focusing on our plan, playing the stupid little girl that was so dumb she didn’t even realize her parents were drugging her, her father was raping her and pimping her out.
“Remember this is our game now,” I say with more strength. “I know you won’t allow anyone to touch me, then my screams are for you.”
I swear to fuck, this idiot needs to move instead of staring at me.
