I turn and finally see Axl walking toward me, his hand casually in his pocket. “For a moment there, I didn’t think you’d show up.”
“And miss our first lunch as an official couple?” he whispers to me conspiratorially. “I’ve wanted this for a long time, Little Reckoning. Even if it decided to pour down rain, I was going to be right here.”
Ledger gives a fake gagging sound, and I blush, unaware he was listening. “Gross. All I want is to eat my lunch.”
“Then sit down, asshole,” Axl laughs, taking the seat beside me. When Ledger sits down, he finally observes the other two sitting with us and goes silent.
A lightbulb goes off in my head. “Hey, Whitney. Ledger used to live in Oakson Lake. Maybe he can show you that comic book art store you were talking about.”
Axl’s scheming smile mimics my own. “Yeah! That’s a great idea.” He turns to his best friend. “You were just talking about that place the other day.”
Whitney looks at him with pure excitement. “Really? Could you? I could give you gas money! I’ve always wanted to go, but I don’t drive, and my dad doesn’t let me go to Oakson.”
Ledger’s eyes are comically wide as he stares at her, fear paralyzing him. Axl elbows him in the side, and he shakes away whatever spiral was happening and nods. “Yeah!” He coughs when his voice gets too high. “Sure, I can take you. What about this weekend?”
“It sounds like a date,” she responds with a friendly smile. Axl and I look at each other, satisfied with our meddling.
His eyes say:Good job, partner.
And mine say:Thanks, I’m a natural.
Cardamom carries over, and the next thing I know, Brent is there.
“Can I sit here?” he asks, looking nervous. I give him a small smile and nod before he sits down between Hannah and Ledger.
Axl smiles too, but he does grip my thigh under the table a little tighter. I would never betray Brent’s confidence, so I couldn’t tell Axl the real reason why Brent and I are on good terms—greatterms, even. But he trusts me, knows that when I say my ex-boyfriend isn’t someone to hate or be jealous of, I mean it. I told him a partial truth instead; that we were both hiding our true selves in this constrictive town, hoping to blendin rather than stand out. Axl gets that, and without knowing the details, he wishes freedom for Brent the same way he does anyone else in this town.
It also helped that Brent stood up for us at the town meeting, letting everyone know exactly where we stand.
That’s why he’s so hard not to fucking love. My sensitive, loving punk. I wouldn’t change him for anything.
The rest of the day is a breeze. Occasionally, there are a few people who give Axl and me nasty looks, but everyone else is cordial and supportive. It feels so freeing, finally being able to hold his hand as we walk between classes. And when he kisses me before we depart, right outside my car in the parking lot, someone whistles nearby in a way that makes us laugh. The guy winks at us but then walks on like nothing happened, showing a small piece of solidarity for everything that’s happened over the last few days.
I realize others must be sick of the way things are just as much as we are, but they were just too afraid to make the first move, to step forward and say“Hey, this is wrong.”But now, Axl and I have taken that leap. We stood up, unafraid and in love, and opened up the door so anyone who might have an issue with the way this town operates could do the same.
And god, I really hope they do.
I doubt it’ll change overnight. Fear is a powerful influencer and courage can’t be conjured with a snap of a finger, but it doesn’t have to be. There just needed to be a catalyst… a small unfortunate mishap that could lead to something great.
A little reckoning, I think.
And throughout the day, as more and more people look at Axl and me with sincere smiles, I wonder if our relationship had some small effect on making this town better.
EPILOGUE
FOUR YEARS LATER
My fingers lose their grip against the cold glass, sliding slightly as I center myself and continue to take deep breaths. I focus on the frost collected on the window pane, letting it ground me as air travels in and out of my lungs. Despite the chill bite from outside, my skin is coated in sweat, and my limbs are numb to the touch.
I can’t help the panic that’s attacking me, right here in this dressing room. I spot my dress hanging on the wardrobe door, the white velvet glistening from the sunshine. It’s beautiful, and I can’t wait to put it on, but my anxiety holds me hostage in this room, desperate to keep me locked in my misery a little while longer.
And it’s all my mother’s fault.
I should be used to her selfishness by now, but the kid who always needed her mother’s love is still wounded inside of me. I thought things would get better after my relationship with Axl came out. I thought she would start to see things for the waythey are, not how she wants them to be, but she fought us at every turn.
No matter how amazing Axl was, how many manners he presented or gestures he gave her, she never warmed up to him. She would look at him with disdain, ignore his commentary, and pass aggressive comments around like it was candy. Axl didn’t really care; he’s used to being mistreated and spoken to unfairly, but after a while, it took a toll on me. I realized waiting for her to come around was diminishing the happiness I should have felt from falling in love. My joy did nothing to squash my mother’s pessimism. If anything, it made it more prevalent.
And after my father divorced her, things became unsalvageable.
