She looks down at it and scrunches her brow, pondering intently. “I think… I paid someone to roll it for me.”
“You think?” I laugh.
“I can’t remember right now. Their face is blurry.”
I only have a few moments to be worried about some random person selling Stacey weed before she scoots closer to me.
“What are you doing here?” she asks me.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Her smile falls, like she’s being reminded of her reason for shacking up in the old gym to smoke during school hours. When the smile doesn’t return, my worry resurfaces. “What’s wrong?”
She bites her lip, then sighs. “I think I’m going to be a beta,” she confesses.
“Oh. Is that a bad thing?”
“It’s not.” Then she purses her lips. “I mean, I know it’s not. But to my mom, it’s a disappointment. And everyone kept telling me I was going to be an omega, so I just thought…maybe, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.”
“I never thought you were going to an omega,” I admit.
That surprises her. “Really?”
“I mean, yeah. You’re not a very submissive girl. You’d rather fight someone than give in. That sounds closer to a beta or alpha than an omega to me.”
“Hm, I guess you’re right,” she ponders. “I wonder why people thought that then.”
“Probably the outdated notion that omega means feminine,” I answer. “People like to disregard that there are masculine omegas, no matter the gender. All the sparkles and pink clothing probably made them think you’d end up being one.”
She thinks about that, then nods. “Yeah, people can be prejudiced, huh?”
It falls silent between us as the statement lingers. It’s true, especially in this town. All I’ve ever known is being judged by people that I’ve grown up around, all because I don’t want to wear collared shirts or khakis.
For a moment, I wonder what it’s like out of this town. Oakson Lake was fun; there was a real sense of community there. Despite moving to Greenwood as a child, I still feel welcomed there in every way. That’s how Ledger and I met our bandmates who were holding auditions for new members. Itwas a dream come true, and they never considered not including us just because we were from the rich area across the bridge.
A few moments later, Stacey moves closer, and I forget how to breathe.
“Your scent. It came in recently.”
I try to hide my grin but fail. “I mean, last fall but yes.”
“It’s… different,” she comments, her eyes glossy as she looks at me. I watch with strained fists as she inhales the air around me, gathering it and basking in it. It’s more of an abstract concept than anything. Sharp, electric. Like lightning during a haunting thunderstorm. When it first came in, Ledger swore he got zapped by it.
“Just like everything else about me,” I joke.
“I like that you’re different,” she confesses. “I’ve always admired it. I wish I could be brave… be myself.”
“Things aren’t permanent,” I remind her, knowing how awful this town can be. “One day, you’ll be able to leave here. Find people who understand you. Find someone who loves you for who you are. One day, you’ll be this town’s reckoning.”
She looks at me then, her eyes trailing over my face with such intensity that I feel vulnerable. I swallow roughly, letting her look, relishing her attention even though it feels like too much.
“I… think about you,” she whispers, and I inhale sharply at the sudden douse of white flowers filling the space between us. “About your courage… about your ridiculous jeans and your stupid, mocking laugh.”
My eyebrows jolt upwards. I look down, noticing the joint is practically a nub now. Getting high for the first time can be an intense experience. I remember blacking out the first few times, so I wonder if that’s where she is now. Checked out and completely unaware of what she’s saying.
“Stacey—”
“Sometimes I think about you in my room, late at night… I think about that kiss.”
