“Don’t be. I like it.”
“Yeah?”
His mouth curved into a warm smile. “Reminds me I’m yours.”
I traced the mark again. “Remember the last time I gave you one of these?”
We’d been drunk and horny, and I’d told him I wanted to mark him. He’d laughed and pointed out that no one would know I’d been the one to do it, but tilted his head to the side anyway. I’d gone at him like a fucking vampire, sucking half his neck into my mouth. When I finally pulled away, the hickey was nearly the size of a tangerine. He'd told his friends the vacuum got stuck to his neck.
Taylor laughed, the sound rumbling through his back into my chest. “Oh god. That was the worst.”
“It was pretty terrible,” I agreed, grinning at the memory.
“You were so determined.” He shifted slightly, turning his head to meet my eyes.
“I wanted so badly for everyone to know you were mine.”
“I was yours,” he said quietly. “I just didn’t know it yet.”
I wrapped my arms more fully around him, one hand splayed across his sternum where I could feel his heartbeat. We sat in silence, the only sound the gentle lap of water against the sides of the tub and our quiet breathing.
“So,” Taylor said eventually. “Monday.”
“Monday,” I echoed.
“They’re putting you up downtown?”
“Corporate housing across the street from the office. Nothing fancy.”
"Have they given you your schedule yet?"
“Michael said to expect sixteen-hour days for the next three weeks at least.”
He traced a pattern on the inside of my calf with his toe. “And I’ve got pre-season starting Wednesday. Coach is going to run us into the ground.”
Conceptually, I'd known this was going to be difficult. But laying it all out like this drove that point home in a way I didn't think Taylor had fully been able to appreciate until now.
We were about to have wildly different schedules, made even worse by his team's travel schedule. We'd be exhausted and under constant stress. Not only from our respective jobs, but from sneaking around, too. I was seriously considering renting a long-term Airbnb, somewhere between the arena and my office, so if we found ourselves with a single free moment, we could meet up there to remind each other why we were putting ourselves through this.
"This is going to suck so bad," he whined.
I pressed a kiss to his temple. “And you're sure you still want to do this?”
"Like I said before,somethingis better thannothing. So stop asking me already."
He was right, of course. Itwasbetter than nothing. But it still felt like I was asking him to settle for scraps when he deserved so much more.
“Hey. We’ll make it work.” Taylor rolled in my arms to face me properly, causing more water to slosh over the edge of the tub. Now I understood why the previous owners put a washer and dryer up here.
"I just keep thinking about how unfair this is to you. That I'm asking for too much. That you shouldn't have to hide for me.” My hands settled on his hips under the water, my middle fingers pressing into the dimples on his lower back.
“You’re not asking for anything,” Taylor said firmly. “I chose this. I choseyou. Yes, it’s going to be hard. But I spent ten years without you. I’m not doing that again. If this is what we have to do, this is what we'll do.”
I searched his eyes, looking for doubt, for resentment, for any sign at all that he didn’t mean it.
All I found was certainty.
“Okay,” I whispered.
