“Gimme a second.”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the inside of my knee, then my thigh, working his way closer to where his fingers were buried inside me. The distraction helped, and I felt myself loosening for him.
“Okay. I’m good.”
Sebastian started that slow, maddening rhythm again, scissoring his fingers gently to stretch me open. Then he crooked them, pressing against that spot inside of me that made me yelp and my back arch off the bed.
“Fuck!”
“There it is,” he chuckled, coasting over my prostate again and again, until I was panting and my cock was a leaking mess.
“Jesus, Seb.”
“You’re doing so well,” he murmured, adding a third finger.
The stretch was intense, bordering on too much, but Sebastian kept working me open with patient determination. His fingers twisted and spread, moving in and out, until I was writhing against the sheets.
“I’m ready. I need?—”
“Not yet.”
He spent what felt like an eternity prepping me, until I was loose and slick and practically sobbing. My cock was flushed and rock hard, and every time his fingers brushed against my prostate, I thought I might come.
“Seb. Sebastian, please. I need you inside me.”
He pulled his fingers out carefully and reached for the condom on the nightstand, tearing the packet open with his teeth and rolling it on. He slicked himself up with lube, his hand shuttling over himself in slow, hypnotizing strokes.
I started to turn onto my stomach to get on my hands and knees, but Sebastian’s hand on my hip stopped me.
“No. I want you like this.” He moved between my legs again, settling into the cradle of my hips. “I want to watch you come on my cock for the first time.”
A spike of anxiety shot through me. Face-to-face meant he’d see every flicker of pain or fear. Every emotion I couldn’t mask. There’d be nowhere to hide, no way to protect myself if I couldn’t handle this.
“Please. I need to see you, Tay,” he begged.
I met his eyes and saw tenderness, hunger, and protectiveness all at once, and the fear loosened its grip. This was Sebastian. He wouldn’t hurt me. Not if he could help it.
“Okay.”
He lined himself up, and even though I was loose from his fingers, this felt different. The pressure as he pushed forward wasintense.
I tried to take him, but my body instinctively tensed against the intrusion, my mind telling me that I wouldn’t be able to. That this was going tohurt. That I couldn’t scream
“Hey.” Sebastian dropped his weight onto his forearm, bringing his face close. He nuzzled his nose against mine in a gesture so tender it almost made me want to cry. “We can stop.”
I shook my head.
If it hurt, it hurt. I’d deal with it. I was a hockey player. I knew pain. Knew how to push through it to get to the reward on the other side.
And Sebastian was my greatest fucking reward.
He watched me carefully, weighing my words against what he saw on my face until his expression went from doubt to acceptance—or maybe trust that I knew my own mind.
“All right. But you gotta breathe for me, Tay."
I pulled in a shaky breath just to show that I could, then another, focusing on relaxing my muscles.
He pressed forward again, and this time he slipped easily past the tight ring of muscle.
