“And where does Wyatt fit into all of this?”
Sebastian jerked back. “What?”
“Are you—” I stopped, swallowing down my fear. I hated having to ask this. Hated how needy it made me feel. “Are you even free to be with me?”
His face went slack with surprise, followed immediately by something that looked like horror. “Oh my god. I ended things with Wyatt.”
“When?”
“In Vegas.” He reached for my hand again, and I let him take it. His words came faster now, tumbling over each other. “I realized there was nothing there anymore. That there hadn’t been for a long time. I didn’t … I couldn’t …” he trailed off, blowing out a breath. “Jesus Christ, this whole time you thought I was still with him?”
Relief flooded me, but there was anger, too. At him for not thinking to say something. At myself for not asking. At the fact that I’d spent ten days feeling like shit about something that wasn’t even true.
“How would I have known? You didn’t tell me that.”
“I didn’t know how to.” His thumb brushed back and forth over my knuckles. “We hadn’t talked about what any of this was, and I didn’t want you to feel pressured. Like you owed me something because I’d blown up my life for you.”
“Did you—blow up your life for me?"
“No.” He shook his head. "I blew it up forme. Like I said before—it was a long time coming. Getting you was a happy coincidence.”
“I wish you had told me,” I said, pain slipping into my voice. “All this time, I’ve been wondering if I was—if this was?—”
I paused, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. My brain and my mouth seemed at odds with each other.
“Back in Vegas,” I started again. “You said you didn’t really know what you two were anymore, especially with him getting married soon. But I wasn’t sure if you might decide to go back to him anyway. You guys were together a long time, Seb, and I was just ... I guess I was too afraid to ask, because I didn’t think I could handle hearing you say that’s what you wanted. Thatheis who you want. That I’m not.”
Pain and regret and something that looked like self-loathing flashed across his face. “Taylor, no. God, no.” He shifted, his grip on my hand tightening. “I should have told you. The second you asked me to come here, I should have said something. I should have clarified what this was for me.”
“I wish you had," I admitted. Then, I wouldn't have felt like this was all in my head. That maybe you were in this with me, too.”
“Iamin this.” He leaned forward, his free hand coming up to cup my jaw. “I’m so fucking in this that it terrifies me. Because the last time I let myself love you, I messed up. And I’m scared—so fucking scared—of doing that again.”
I turned my head and pressed a kiss to his palm. “Did you ever stop to think I might feel the same way?”
His laugh was shaky when he said, "We’re idiots.”
“Yeah.” I twisted my fingers in the front of his shirt and pulled him as close as I could, given the console between us. “Such idiots.”
Sebastian’s hand slid from my jaw to thread through my hair, his eyes searching mine for what felt like an eternity. I couldn’t tell you what he was looking for, only that he must have found it, because he gave me a slow smile and moved back into his seat.
“Let’s go home,” I said quietly.
Neither of us spoke much after that. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly, but the air felt thick with everything hadn’t said.
If we were really going to be together, I couldn’t help but worry that our inability to communicate was going to bite us in the ass. It wouldn’t be the distance or our schedules. The fact that we each had a bad habit of making assumptions instead of just fucking talking to each other was going to be a problem. One I wasn’t sure we’d be able to navigate.
By the time I pulled into the driveway, my shoulders were tight with tension.
Sebastian grabbed the leftovers, and I unlocked the front door. He headed straight for the kitchen while I toed off my shoes and hung up my keys. I found him standing at the open fridge, just staring into it.
Eventually, he closed the door and turned to face me, a few feet of tile between us that might as well have been miles.
I knew he felt it too.
“I’m gonna head up to bed,” I said finally, exhaustion creeping into my bones.
Sebastian looked down at his hands, then back up at me. “Do you want me to sleep in one of the guest rooms?”
