He’d told me as much in Vegas, but hearing him confess it to his friends made those words real in a way I hadn’t let them be until now.
Real in a way I never thought I'd get.
I’d long ago accepted that any relationship I might have someday would have to exist in the margins, nurtured behind closed doors. But sitting here with two married men who’d fought like hell to be together, I suddenly understood that didn’t have to be my future.
I could have what they had.
Taylor and I could have it together.
My vision turned blurry as I reached out deliberately, where there’d be no mistaking my intent, and settled my hand on his. “He was in love with you, too. Still is, I think.”
CHAPTER 17
TAYLOR
Bell,Ethan, Sebastian, and I stood by the front door, Sebastian holding a canvas bag packed with the lamb we never got around to eating. His arm brushed against mine and stayed there. If this were an hour ago, I would have shifted away. Made space between us. Now, at least with these two, I didn’t have to. Didn’t have to pretend ever again.
“You sure you don’t want to stay and eat?” Bell asked, though his grin suggested he knew exactly why we wouldn’t.
“Rain check?”
“Absolutely.” He yanked me into a hug, clapping me on the back. When he pulled away, his hand stayed on my shoulder, his eyes bright. “I’m proud of you, T.”
“Thanks, man,” I said, my voice cracking.
“That took guts. It was brave.” He squeezed my shoulder once before stepping away.
I’d been sweating bullets ever since we got here, but the fear I'd felt paled in comparison to the way Bell stood his ground when sports commentators and online trolls alike told him to shut the fuck up about his sexuality and play the game. Or Ethan, who’d stared down demons I couldn’t even begin to imagine and refused to let them beat him.
Theywere the brave ones.
“More like a long time coming.”
“Take the compliment,” Bell directed, moving to Sebastian’s side.
Ethan stepped forward, and we shook hands as he gave me one of his rare, almost-smiles. “It’s good to see you happy.”
“Yeah,” I answered, shoving my hands into my pockets and shuffling my feet in place.
I wouldn’t say I’d beenunhappybefore. Not exactly. But lately, there’d been this feeling of … well, this persistent sense that something was missing. Like I was going through the motions of a life that should have been enough, but somehow wasn’t.
I had a career most guys would sacrifice their left nut for, a nice house, and the respect of my teammates and coaches.
Who was I to want more? It felt greedy.
The real kicker, however, was that I didn’t know if I’d describe what I felt now as happy, either. It seemed too simple for the tangle of emotions I was experiencing.
Coming out to Bell and Ethan had felt good. Right. Like I’d been holding my breath for years and could finally breathe again.
But Sebastian saying that he was still in love with me had thrown me off balance. I hadn’t expected it. Hadn’t been prepared for how those words would slam into me and rearrange everything I thought I understood about myself in an instant
Ever since Vegas, I could feel myself falling for him all over again, even knowing it was a bad idea to get too invested, too quickly. Every night when we went to sleep, our legs tangled together—and then again each morning when I woke up in his arms—I reminded myself this was a temporary break from reality.
The problem was, it didn’t feel temporary.
No. It felt like I’d love this man for the rest of my goddamn life.
And even with all that, some not small part of me kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
