He nuzzled his face into my neck, breathing hard, and for a long minute, neither of us said a word. Eventually, he rolled onto his side, dragging me with him. His expression was soft and maybe a little sheepish. “Was that okay?”
Itwasokay, but it also left me feeling confused. Physically, my orgasm was probably one of the best I’d ever experienced, but I hated not being able to touch him. It made me feel ... separate from him, like I was having something donetome instead of participating. And then, as hot as it had been for him to use me, it hadn’t felt like him there with me. It almost seemed like he’d been playing a role, adopting a different persona. I didn't think I liked it.
“It was good …” I hedged, not wanting to say more in case he was lying there thinking, “That’s it. That’s what I want for the rest of my life.”
His mouth twitched like he knew I was lying, but was choosing not to call me on my bullshit.
“What?” I asked, daring him to.
He brushed his thumb over my swollen lips. “It was hot, but …”
“But what?”
“I like it better when you can touch me.”
I huffed out a relieved laugh and rolled on top of him, practically tackling him. “Oh my god. I was thinking the same thing. Hot for sure, but definitely not my kink.”
He fell silent for a beat, his gaze moving over my face. “Thank you for letting me do that with you, though.”
“Tome, you mean?”
“Withyou,” he corrected, carding his fingers through my hair, his touch gentle. “Big difference.”
And it was.
CHAPTER 13
TAYLOR
I woketo Sebastian’s arm heavy across my chest. For a moment, I simply listened to his breathing—slow and even, and completely relaxed. His dark hair was a mess against the pillow, and there were sleep creases on his cheek. He looked younger like this. Less cautious.
I reached out, feeling along the nightstand until my fingers closed around my phone. The screen lit up, revealing the time. It was late, but not obscenely so. I never slept in like this. Then again, I rarely stayed up as late as I had been the past few nights.
I extracted myself out from under his arm and slipped out of bed. The hardwood floor was cool against my bare feet as I padded downstairs. In the kitchen, I measured out coffee grounds, and while I waited for the machine to work its magic, I leaned against the counter and watched the woods behind my house through the window. The sun had already crept past the shade line, illuminating the undergrowth in golden patches.
I wasn’t used to good things happening to me, and I didn't know if this could last, but for right now, Sebastian was here, and he was mine again.
I pulled two mugs from the cabinet, and steam rose as I filled each one, adding cream and sugar to mine and leaving his black.
Sebastian was awake when I went back upstairs, propped up against the headboard, his brow furrowed as he stared down at his phone.
“Hey, sleepy head.” I moved next to him, holding out his coffee.
“You’re a lifesaver.” He set his phone face down on the mattress and reached for it.
I sat down in the few inches of free space next to him, one foot braced on the floor to keep me from sliding off the bed.“I was thinking about going for a run. There’s a trail about ten minutes from here that’s one of my favorites. Want to come?" I asked, curious to see how he'd respond after our conversation yesterday.
But it wasn'tjusta test.
Back in Vegas, I’d promised myself that when I got home, I’d stop coasting. I was tired of showing up to camp just good enough not to puke my way through it, tired of treating my career like something that happened to me instead of something I actively wanted.
My leg started bouncing with nerves, and I forced myself to be still.
“Yeah, I'm down."
“Do you need shoes or anything?”
While Sebastian was a few inches taller than me, back in college, we'd worn the same size shoes and shirts. I'd filled out since then, while he'd gotten a bit leaner, so we probably wouldn't be sharing clothes anytime soon, but I had a few pairs of New Balance sneakers still in their boxes he could borrow.
