Fuck.
I shook my head hard, trying to clear the fog. “Look, I’m a lot of things, Sebastian—most of them not so great—but I don’t let people use me like this.”
He released my arm like I’d burned him and took two steps back, turning his head away, but not before I caught the flash of hurt in his eyes. “What? No. That’s not … I just want to talk.”
“Really?” I crossed my arms over my chest, my fingers digging into my biceps. The pressure helped to keep me from doing something stupid—like reaching for him. “Why?”
After a few seconds that felt like decades, Sebastian turned back to me, his jaw shifting from side to side.
Another switch flipped.
“Because I think I might have fucked up ten years ago, all right? I think maybe I never should have cut you out of my life the way I did.”
“So why did you?”
His whole body seemed to collapse in on itself. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed again, and he squeezed his eyes shut briefly, then opened them. “You have to understand, I couldn’t keep pretending that I didn’t want more. I thought …” he trailed off.
I loosened my grip on my arms, the left one falling away, then the right. “What did you think?” I whispered, taking a small step forward, the need to know pulling me toward him.
For a long while, Sebastian simply searched my face—looking for what, I could only guess. Judgment? Permission? Some sign I’d bolt if he kept going.
“Please, Seb. Just tell me.”
He pulled in a deep breath and then blew it out in a long, slow gust. “I thought it was just me, okay? That I’d built us up into something that wasn’t really there.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes you made me feel like I was just a friend you fucked around with when you were horny. Just once, I wanted you to tell me you felt it, too. That I wasn’t alone. When you never did, it broke me. I … I had to protect myself, Taylor. I was fucking dying, and you didn’t even notice.”
I hated myself in that moment because Sebastian wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t noticed any of that. I’d been on top of the goddamn world, and I’d just assumed he was right there with me.
Well, I could tell him now.
“I wassofucking happy, Seb. I don’t even have words for how lucky I felt being with you. You were the best goddamn thing in my life. When you left … fuck.” I tipped my head back, looking up at the ceiling, squeezing my eyes shut against the tears I could feel forming. I slowed my breathing until I felt in control of my emotions again, then dropped my face forward. “It broke my heart.”
“I didn’t know,” he murmured, his throat working as tears shimmered in his eyes. “You never said.”
My anger faded instantly, leaving something fragile and terrifying in its place. I moved closer without consciously deciding to. One second, I was standing there; the next, I was between Sebastian’s knees.
“I’m so sorry I made you feel that way,” I said, reaching out with my right hand to cup his jaw, his stubble rough against my skin.
He turned into it, his whole body curving toward me, and pressed his lips to the side of my wrist before dragging his teethover my pulse point. Then he flicked his eyes up to meet mine, and there was nothing tentative about the look he gave me.
No questions. No hesitation. Just pure fucking want.
“Taylor.Please.”
My name, on his lips, spoken like a plea?
I didn’t stand a chance.
Whatever resolve I’d been clinging to vanished in that moment. I leaned in, closing the distance between us. The second my mouth found his, Sebastian’s hands tangled in my hair, and he yanked me closer, taking our kiss deeper.
CHAPTER 6
SEBASTIAN
We tumbledonto the mattress together, my hands tangling in Taylor’s hair as I pulled him down on top of me. His weight settled over me, solid and warm, and we both laughed—breathless, and a little giddy—as our mouths came together again.
