I felt the pressure of one slick finger at my hole, pushing in, before it was almost immediately joined by a second. I arched into it, not caring about the burn. I wanted the ache. Needed it as much as I needed him.
He added a third, and I bit my lip, grinding down onto his hand, desperate to show him that I could take it.
That Iwouldtake it.
“More.”
He pumped his fingers roughly in and out of me until the pain turned to pleasure.
“Now, Seb.”
He pulled free and, in one quick motion, flung me onto the mattress. I bounced, and he was suddenly there, pushing my knees back and lining himself up.
He pushed forward, letting out a groan from between clenched teeth as he breached me. I held his gaze, refusing to so much as blink, even as the pressure threatened to split me open. When he bottomed out, our eyes locked, his pupils blown wide, black eating up amber.
“Do it,” I breathed out.
I watched a play of emotions flash across his face—concern, awe, lust, sorrow, and concern again. He wanted this, needed it even, but he didn’t trust it. Didn’t know if what I was offering was truly his to take.
“Use me, Seb. Let go.”
Something in him snapped then, and he pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in. From there, he set a brutal pace, pistoning into me with an urgency that bordered on violence. I lost track of everything except the sharp slap of skin, the sting of his grip on my thigh, the fullness of him inside me. He fucked like a man possessed, and I encouraged him, digging my nails into his shoulder blades, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep him close.
He gasped my name as he pulled all the way out, then flipped me over onto my stomach, yanking my hips up and driving in again, pounding against that spot inside me that made my body quake and my eyes screw shut as I tried desperately not to come. I clawed at the sheets, my mouth open, somewhere between panting and screaming, not recognizing the noises coming out of me.
Sebastian gripped the back of my neck—not enough to hurt, just to hold me where he needed me, to remind me that I was his—as his hips slammed against my ass, every thrust sending sparks up my spine.
“Fuck, Taylor,” he choked out. “I can’t?—”
“Give it to me,” I rasped, pushing back to meet him.
He let out a strangled sob, burying his face between my shoulder blades as he shot into me, hot and pulsing, setting off my own orgasm.
I came, hands free, in messy spurts over the blankets, my whole body trembling as Sebastian collapsed on top of me, his chest heaving against my back.
We stayed like that, sticky and spent, until our breathing slowed and the world came back into focus. Then he slipped out of me, rolling onto his side and dragging me back against him to trace lazy circles over my stomach.
I ran my fingers through the hair on his arms. “Feel better?”
I felt him nod against the back of my head before he kissed my neck softly. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off, rolling to face him, my head propped on my hand. “I asked you to. Iwantedit.”
He searched my face like he was looking for the lie, but he wouldn’t find it. I’d be sore later, but I’d let him use me like this a thousand times over if it gave him even a modicum of peace.
He leaned in to kiss me, that earlier desperation melting into something softer. I moved onto my back, taking him with me. We kissed for a long time after that, Sebastian rocking gently against me. This wasn’t about fucking now. It was about using each other for comfort.
For softness.
For love.
I knew tonight hadn’t fixed anything for Sebastian. Not really.
But ithadmade things better, if only just for now.
And that counted for something. It had to.
CHAPTER 38
