“I hear many voices, Viking. Including my own.”
“Whose is the loudest out of them?” he continues, making me grit my teeth.
“I’m not sure,” I fib.
“Yes, you do. Don’t lie to me, Letti. Never me. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what you say or admit. Hear me?”
“I hear you,” I answer, releasing a long, dramatic sigh.
“Look, Letti. See yourself and notice who’s at your back. Me. The man who willalwaysbe there waiting to catch you if you fall.”
“I see you,” I whisper.
“Good. Now see yourself,” he commands. “Who are you, baby? Tell me.”
“I’m yours,” I tell him.
“Damn straight you are,” he barks out. “That’s not in question. But that’s not the answer I want. Dig deep, goddess. Face your fears with me holding you. I won’t let go.”
“Not even when you hear my thoughts? When you hear what Ireallythink about myself? Swear it, Viking.”
“I give you my solemn oath, Letti.”
“Okay then, here it goes. I hope it doesn’t make your ears bleed,” I tease, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. He gently squeezes me, letting me know he heard me but doesn’t support my joking, not when it’s something so damn serious. “Alright,” I say, unleashing a harsh breath. “I see someone who’s troubled, someone who carries around a lot of weighted down baggage. A person who was unwanted from the time of conception. A woman who was browbeaten, demeaned, used, abused, and has no self-worth. A person who’s weak enough to believe what people have said about her. I see a loser.”
“That’s a lot of damnation, baby girl. Give me the positives instead of the negatives this time when you tell me about yourself. What’s your favorite attribute about yourself?”
“My hair,” I admit. “My eyes. My skin tone. My smile. Those are my favorite things about myself.”
“What else? That was all superficial. Dig deeper, Letti.”
“I’m loyal,” I conclude. “I’m steadfast. I’m a good friend. I’m someone who you always know will be there for you, no matter how rough things get. I’ll always be along for the ride, bumps and all. I’m not easily thrown.”
“That’s a damn good start and fine points, gorgeous. Doesn’t sound like a weak person to me. How about you?”
“Not really, I guess,” I surmise.
“It takes strength to be there for those you care about through thick and thin. A weak person would run and hide in the shadows and let those struggling face their own problems. Now, look in that mirror, see how I look at you and tell me what you see.”
I gasp because he’s letting every emotion thrumming through him shine through. “I see love. A man who sees no flaws. A man who worships his woman, faults and all.”
“Let’s talk about those, shall we?” he inquires.
“If you insist,” I sass, being a brat. Idon’tlike discussing the good things about me. For some damn reason, it makes me feel dirty when it should be doing the exact opposite. I’m sure that’s my mother’s influence since she always berated me and made me ‘wash my sins away’ if I ever said anything resembling anything good about myself.
He shakes his head, but outside of that, he doesn’t react to my snarkiness. “Tell me about the love you say you see from me, Letti. Does it come with strings attached?”
“No,” I mumble.
“Fucking right,” he grumbles. “Do you see judgment from me about these supposed flaws you think I see?”
“No,” I repeat my earlier answer.
“The worship is a given. A real man will drop to his knees and worship the woman who stole his heart and soul. The woman who woke him up when he was barely skating by in life. And Letti, I’m a real man. Warts and all. I see you, I see the real you, not the one who hides behind the scared little girl. I see the woman you have become and are still growing into. That woman deserves to have her feet kissed for all of the bullshit she’s had to wade through. I see a goddess, my goddess. My life. My everything. The reason I breathe. The reason my heart leaps and my soul sings. I see the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love the fuck out of you, Letti.”
This mandominatesmy world.
He just slayed every one of my fucking nightmares in one fell swoop. I see me now, it’s still a tad hazy, and there’s a lot of room for improvement, but I’m starting to recognize the things in me that he does. Because he made it so.
