“A woman knows the way the man who she’s obsessed with smells. And, Viking, your scent is embedded in your sheets.”
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
Icer
Huh.I didn’t consider that. I have a special brand of laundry detergent that is homemade. I suppose it’s a unique blend because I used my favorite smells when I mixed it. It’s not overly masculine, but it doesn’t have any floral scents either so it’s not feminine either. It’s a natural, breezy smell like fresh hung linen that’s been flapping in the wind under the sunshine. Reminds me of a newborn baby’s scent. My skin is very sensitive so I have to use baby wash, shampoo, and lotion so I don’t break out into hives. Zoey teases me often that I smell like a baby’s bottom. Now that I’m thinking about it, I can see why. Doesn’t mean I’ll advertise it, I still have a reputation to maintain and the guys would give me hell if they ever found out.
“Wasn’t trying to hide it from you, Letti,” I promise her. “I just didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed by being here instead of in one of our safe houses.”
“I believe you,” she says, winding a rubber band at the end of one of my braids she just finished, tying it off. “We’re three-quartersof the way done, I just have the left side to do and then I’ll spritz it.”
“And then what?” My question is open-ended because I’m asking about more than one thing and she knows it.
“We take it one step at a time,” she insinuates. “We’ll start things off by watching a few movies and talking about your trip, the damn bomb threats, and… us.”
“One step at a time,” I say, parroting her earlier words.
“Slow and steady,” she tacks on. “It’s the only way we’ll survive the unknown without driving ourselves crazy and win this race.”
“We’ll win,” I say, devotion and dedication laced in my voice. “I don’t like losing and I’ll lose my shit if I lose you.”
She giggles before patting my shoulder, saying, “I’m a sore loser too, Viking.”
“It’s why you’re my match, Letti. We’re likeminded and we’re both competitive as fuck.”
“To an extent,” she nonchalantly says. “I have to be highly passionate about something to go balls to the wall for it. Not everything is important to me and those are the things I can let go. But when it comes to you, that won’t happen. Youarethe most important thing to me, Viking. I hope you know what you’re in for.”
“In for a penny, in for a pound,” I say, repeating the phrase the elders of the club used when I was a kid. “And ditto. You know me better than anybody does, Letti, so you have an idea how crazy and neurotic I can get when I want something. And I’ve never wanted anything more than I do you.”
“This is going to be a wild ride, Viking.”
“Don’t worry, Letti, I’ll make sure you’re outfitted for it,” I declare. “You won’t get a single scratch once I’m done.”
Entering the clubhouse the next day, I whistle and gather all of the men’s attention. Once they stop talking and their focus is on me and me alone, I make an announcement. “You fuckers didn’t think it was necessary to tell me that I was in a relationship? A committed one? You all know my background, you all know that I’m ignorant to all things that go hand-in-hand with having a woman. I could’ve hurt her and none of you outside of Riptide brought it to my attention. I’m pissed in case you can’t tell. Y’all thought I was grouchy before, just you wait. Payback is a motherfucking bitch.”
I stomp back outside, letting the door fly shut and slam behind me. Should I blame them for my shortcomings? Probably not, but I do. Brothers are supposed to have each other’s backs, no matter what, and I feel like they’ve let me down and not had mine. I may gripe and grunt but I’m always there for them when they need me. I call them all types of an asshole when they’re acting like one, so why didn’t they return that favor for me?
I’m livid, irritated, and ready to shed some blood when Indiana, Slayer, Riptide, and LoneStar follow me outside. I turn on them and narrow my eyes at them, asking, “Why?”
“Because we didn’t want to freak you out,” Indiana defends. “You needed to see it for yourself and come to that conclusion on your own terms. It’s not for us to step into your personal business unless you invite us to.”
“If you remember, I didn’t point out your relationship status to you until you sat me down and asked me about it,” Riptide reminds me. “When you ask for our help, we’ll give it to you without asking any questions. You’re our brother, Icer, but you don’t do well with us stepping on your toes so we veer away from that as much as we can. Nobody wants you to feel trapped because that’s when you lash out.”
“We will always be here for you,” LoneStar declares. “But what we won’t do is put our noses where they don’t belong unless we think you’re endangering yourself or someone around you. We’ll always speak up and tell you the truth but we won’t manhandle you.”
All of my huffing and puffing deflates as I glance down at the ground and dig my toe into the dirt. I’m still mad, but now, it’s more at myself than anybody else. “I fucked up.”
“You didn’t fuck up,” Slayer swears, placing his hand on my shoulder in support. Normally, I’d brush it off since I have an aversion to touch unless I’m expecting it, but this feels good and his hand is steadying me. It feels like an anchor keeping me grounded. “Nobody thinks or reacts to things the same way, Icer. Did Letti let on that she thinks you fucked up or that you hurt her?”
“Absolutely not,” I snap. My inclination is now and will always be to defend her and her honor. “She’s the most compassionate woman I’ve ever met. But she’d also never point it out when someone’s disappointed her or has fucked up. And I did… big time.”
“But you just said it better than any of us ever could when it comes to describing Letti, Icer. She’s compassionate, understanding, and would never presume anything negative,especially when it comes to you. You didn’t fuck up or she would’ve made that known and you swore she didn’t. Right?” Indiana asks.
“Right,” I confirm. “But I still can’t get it out of my head that I did. How did I not see it?”
“Because until recently, you’ve never seen a relationship that’s not twisted, abusive, and domineering. Your dad and mom were poor examples of how relationships should be,” Riptide states.
