“He’s scared, Sarah. He feels such a responsibility for you. He always has.” She winces a little bit, like she’s hesitant to keep going.
“And?” I prompt. “Why do you look like there’s something you don’t want to say?”
“Andhe’s made up his mind that Carter is the one encouraging you to pursue the O-1 without worrying about teaching. He thinks he might have ulterior motives.”
I furrow my brow, struggling to truly wrap my head around what she’s suggesting. “What does that mean? What kind of ulterior motive?”
She gives me a pained look. “If you try for the visa you’re less likely to get, then you’ll have to stay married to him.”
Her words mostly just make me angry, but then a tiny flicker of doubt sparks inside my brain.
Carter wouldn’t.Would he?
As soon as I give even an ounce of oxygen to the thought, a wave of certainty washes over me and douses it right out.
He wouldn’t. Iknowhe wouldn’t. Carter is a lot of things. But he is not manipulative. He’s the exact opposite. He’s completely guileless. And he would never do anything so underhanded.
“It’s sad Miles would believe something like that of his own teammate,” I say.
Anna nods. “I know. I told him the same thing. But Miles truly feels that if you have to go back to Canada, it will be hisfault. He has nightmares about the possibility of your father finding you again.” She pauses, shifting her weight and leaning forward, like she’s trying to stretch her back. “I don’t mean to make excuses for him,” she continues, “and I definitely don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. But would it be so bad to just talk to a couple of schools? Make Milesthinkyou’re considering both options?”
I understand why she’s asking. It has to be tough to be both Miles’s wife and my friend without feeling like she’s caught in the middle. But there’s no way I can say yes. “I can’t do it, Anna. It’s not the path I want. And if Miles would actually listen to me when I talk to him about my art, he’d understand why. I feel really good about where I am. I’ve already checked so many of the O-1 boxes. I’m not there yet—but Iamgetting closer. And I’m only two weeks into this marriage—I’m so much farther ahead of my timeline than I thought I would be. Especially if this thing at the Rooke works out.”
She nods, but there’s still hesitation in her eyes. “What does Carter think? Does he have opinions about the visa situation at all?”
“He’s incredibly supportive,” I say. “He has been from the start. Even before we got married, he talked like it was basically a done deal. That I’d qualify for an O-1 in no time. He’s always said the wedding just bought me a little time.”
She holds my gaze for a long moment. “That has to feel good.”
I breathe out a little laugh, relieved that she finally seems to understand. “Yeah. It really does.”
“Okay,” she says. “I trust you. And I believe you.”
I reach out and take her hands. “Thank you. But I also need you and Miles to believeinme. It’s not the same thing.”
“Oh, honey, you know I believe in you.” She squeezes myhands. “And I’ll do my best to help your boneheaded brother see what I see.”
I lean forward and give her a hug. “Thank you.”
When I pull back, she doesn’t let go of my hands. She turns and looks at Carter. “Do you think you’re falling for him?”
Carter’s arms are folded, his focus wholly on my friend. “I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe.”
It’s the closest I’ve come to admitting anything out loud, which feels big, but Anna doesn’t respond. Shedoes,however, squeeze my hands with a sudden intensity that turns the tips of my fingers white.
“Anna, are you okay?” I slowly ask.
She nods a little too quickly. “Yeah. Totally fine. The baby is just—really digging into my back.”
I study her closely, noticing a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.
She drops my hands, then grabs a cocktail napkin off a table behind us and dabs at her forehead. “Do you think he’s falling for you?” she asks. I get the sense she’s tryingreallyhard to distract herself—and me—from whatever is happening inside her body.
“Maybe,” I say, still watching her closely. “But I can tell he wants to ask me about hockey. About not going to his games. Which I understand. But if I tell him, I have to tell him everything, and I told Miles I wouldn’t do that.”
She frowns. “He asked you not to?”
I nod. “But even if he didn’t, I’m not sure I’m ready for that level of sharing.”
