My heart falls into my stomach as my entire body flushes with heat.
Iknowhe’s pretending.Of coursehe’s pretending.
But somehow, every new situation we find ourselves in feels like a situation I’m not prepared for. Ihave no idea how to reconcile what my brain knows—this isn’t real—with how mybodyreacts.
My gaze darts over to Aidan, who is watching with rapt attention.
So I guess we’re doing this.
I look back at Carter. “Love you too.”
The call disconnects, and I drop my phone into my lap, then shove my hands between my thighs to keep them from trembling. It’s ridiculous that I’m reacting like this. But those words just felt soreal.
A twinge of sadness pings around in my heart.
I’ve never saidI love youto a man before.
It hurts to think that I just did for the first time…and I didn’t mean it.
“Carter Williamson is your boyfriend?” Aidan asks from beside me.
I manage to smile at him. “He sure is.”
“Best birthday presentever,” Aidan says. “Thanks for calling him.”
“That was all him,” I say. “I texted him and told him you were sitting next to me, and he called me.”
Aidan’s parents pipe up next, offering their own thanks. The whole exchange really was so fun, but I’m too distracted to truly appreciate their gratitude. My own feelings feel too difficult to sort out. I feel oddly proud, which doesn’t make sense because I’m not in a real relationship with Carter. But I also feel a little bit sad. This man is kind and generous and good. Am I taking advantage of that? Of his generosity?
When my phone buzzes in my hand, I scramble to open the screen. I don’t realize I’m hoping for a message from Carter until I see one and immediately feel relief.
Carter
I hope that was okay. I know we didn’t talk about it, but it felt like a good way to end the conversation since I knew they were probably listening.
Sarah
Good thinking. They were listening, so it was the right call.
Carter
It felt weird to say it. But it probably won’t be the only time we do. Maybe it’s good we got the first one out of the way?
Sarah
True. Do you think it will get easier?
Carter
I’m sure it will. We’ll get the hang of things.
Sarah
I’m trusting your confidence here.
Carter
We’re going to be fine. I promise.
