Carter looks over at me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself,” he says. “I wanted to, but Anna insisted you might need a minute to get used to the idea before we talked.”
“She was right,” I say. “I’m still not sure I believe this is happening.”
“I can imagine,” he says. “Are you wondering what changed my mind?”
I nod, grateful he’s willing to guide the conversation because I still feel entirely upside down.
“It was a couple of things,” he says. “First, I did some reading about postpartum depression and the importance of a good support network. Then I factored in the added stress of being a hockey wife, dealing with how much we’re on the road. Hired help can only get you so far, and I respect Miles and his family. If you want to stay in the States to be close to them, that feels like something I ought to support if I have the means to do so.”
My brain snags on the wordought,but I’m not sure why. Saying yes because he feels like he should is different than saying yes because he wants to. But then, if he were sayingyes because he wanted to, that wouldn’t sit right either because we aren’t talking about arealmarriage.
Ought tofeels safer, even if it does feel less exciting.
“That’s really kind of you to say,” I say, forcing myself to focus on the kindness behind Carter’s words. Annadiddescribe him as thoughtful, but reading about postpartum depression to better understand what it is feels next level.
Anna would hate it if she knew, only because she hates to be needy, to have anyone making any kind of fuss about her. But she has no idea how much she does for the rest of us. She deserves all the fuss.
“I understand how important family is, so I want you to be close to yours.”
I pause my footsteps and turn to face him. “So you’re saying you changed your mind because you’re nice? I don’t believe you, Carter. You have to have more reason than that.”
“I didn’t say I don’t. But that’s the biggest one, so I wanted to get it out of the way first.”
A chilly wind blows past us, and I tug my coat a little closer. Even though it was almost sixty degrees today, it feels closer to thirty now that the sun has set.
“Okay. What are your other reasons?”
“A few things,” Carter says as we start to walk again. “First, to make the marriage look as authentic as possible, I think we’ll need to live together. Miles said the pool house has two bedrooms, but I’m hoping you might be open to a different option.”
My shoulders fall the slightest bit. I hadn’t heard that Miles wants us to live in the pool house. As grateful as I am for his and Anna’s willingness to let me stay here for free, the pool house has zero room for painting. Which isn’t a huge deal. I could always rent out some studio space somewhere.But sometimes I paint at ridiculously weird hours. I don’t truly have the right to be choosy, but it would be nice to have a studio at home.
“A different option like what?”
“Like…a house,” Carter says. “I’ve been talking to a real estate agent lately. I thought we could move into it together. That’s something married couples do, right?”
A knot of dread tightens in my stomach. “Wait. You aren’t…” I swallow, then lick my lips. “You aren’t looking to buy a housejustfor this, right?”
Carter quickly shakes his head. “Definitely not. It’s more just convenient timing. I’m in an apartment in Midtown, living across the hall from my brother. I’ve been itching for something different for a while.”
The certainty of his response is reassuring, but it also makes me feel a little silly for questioning his motives. People don’t buy real houses for fake marriages.
Then again. People also don’t get married when they aren’t in love. So maybe I should stop trying to makeanyof this feel realistic.
“It’s important to me that if we do this, we do everything we can to make it look legit,” Carter continues. “I think the house will really help with that. Plus, it’ll be a huge help to me if you move in.”
“A help? Why is that?”
“Because of Gordie.”
“Gordie?” I repeat, and he nods.
“My cat. The neighbor below me currently takes care of him when we’re on the road. But if I move, I won’t have anyone to check on him. So it would actually be a huge favor to me if you were around, keeping an eye on the house and taking care of Gordie.”
I huff out a laugh. “Carter, you can’t marry me just so I can feed your cat. You can hire a pet sitter.”
“Gordie’s a special cat. I can’t trust him with just anybody.”
I stop again, propping my hands on my hips.
