My therapist, whom I’ve already talked to twice since Carter left, has made it clear that any successful path forward requires full transparency and honesty. That means I have to tell himwhy watching hockey is so triggering. Which means I have to tell him about my dad. Miles won’t like it, but if I really am falling for Carter, then Miles doesn’t really get a say anymore.
The team arrives back in Atlanta just after two p.m. on the day of their final home game. They head straight to the arena, so I don’t see Carter before I go to Anna’s to babysit. I get there with plenty of extra time, guessing she’ll need it since this will be her first night out since Fiona was born.
I find her in her bedroom, flopped onto her bed next to a mountain of clothes. She’s wearing a pair of jeans, but onlysort ofwearing them. It doesn’t look like she was able to get them buttoned.
Fiona is in the bassinet sucking on a pacifier, and Poppy and Olive are in the bathroom sitting at Anna’s vanity. Poppy is giving Olive a makeover that’s going to bevery funto wash off.
“I’m sensing a fashion emergency,” I say to Anna as I drop onto the foot of her bed.
She lifts her head to look at me. “They won’t even button.” She picks up the sides of her pants as if to illustrate her point.
“Of course they won’t button,” I say. “You had a babythree weeks ago.”
“So what do I do, then?” she asks. “I’m supposed to look cute at games. I can’t go in pants with an elastic waist. That’s against all kinds of rules.”
“No one is going to be inspecting your pants,” I say. “Wear your favorite leggings with a pair of boots and the oversized navy sweater you love so much.”
She pushes up onto her elbows. “That’s actually not a bad idea.”
“See? I’m only terrible at fashion whenI’mhaving a crisis. Most of the time, I manage just fine.”
Anna stands and moves into her closet. “Have you heard from Carter? Did the team get in okay?” she calls from inside.
“They did. They’re already at the Vortex. You haven’t heard from Miles?”
“Nah, but I usually don’t on gamedays,” she says. “He says it messes with his focus.” She comes back out of her closet with the new outfit on—the one I suggested. “What do you think?” she asks.
“It’s perfect,” I say. “You look great.”
I glance at my watch, all too aware that I’m going to see Carter tonight.
I just have to kill seven hours first.
The girls, at least, make that a lot easier. Anna nurses Fiona right before she leaves, and there’s a stockpile of milk in the fridge, but she’s still in a fussy mood, so juggling the older girls and getting them into bed while keeping Fiona happy takes all my focus.
I’m upstairs trying to coax Olive into her big girl bed when the game starts. I manage to keep one eye on the score, but I’m still distracted, which only makes the time pass more quickly.
I finally drop onto the couch just before nine and read through the game highlights, scanning for Carter’s name. Poppy and Olive are finally asleep, and Fiona is in the swing right next to me, still awake, but not fussing, which I’m taking as a win.
I reach for the TV remote, thinking I can at least try to watch something even if I can’t truly focus, but then my phone rings.
“Hey,” Anna says as soon as I pick up. Based on the sounds coming through the phone, she’s still at the game.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Hang on,” she says to me, then there’s movement, some sort of shifting, before she says, “I know. I’ve got her on the phone right now. I will. I’ll tell her.”
My heart starts pounding, and I sit up a little taller. She’ll tell me what? An ache of worry makes my stomach tighten, and I suddenly wish that Ihadgone to the game so I would know, right this second, that Carter is okay.
I needeyeson my husband. Not just words coming through a phone.
“Anna,” I say, panic clawing at my throat. “What is it? Is it Carter? Please just tell me if my husband is hurt.”
“Carter’s fine,” she says. “Breathe, Sarah. He’s okay.”
Idobreathe, and tears inexplicably spring to my eyes. “Is it Miles?”
“Miles is fine too. Sarah, it’s Theo,” she says. “And it’s pretty bad. Carter has to finish the game, but I’m sure he’ll head to the hospital as soon as he can. I’m leaving the Vortex now, and I’m coming straight home. I thought you might want to meet Carter there.”
