“Oh, I want to fuck. Just not Sarah.” His sexy crooked grin gave way, and I realized how explicit our conversation had become at my doing.
I drank my beer again, the warmth of my cheeks starting to burn from the flame that was settling much,muchlower.
“What about you?” His eyes flickered to the beer in his hand, then back to mine. “Why not just hook up with Enzo?He’s clearly interested.” The mention of Enzo eased the flame like a bucket of water. I noticed how modest his choice of words was compared to mine. A gentleman’s way of asking the very same question.
“It’s different for girls,” I said, and he didn’t ask why. He didn’t question me further; he just accepted my dismissal and dropped it.
When Enzo walked in, I noticed the time. It was past twoA.M., and since I had an early wake-up and was already well in the bag, I decided it was time to go. Enzo offered to walk me home, but it was a twenty-five-minute walk each way, and he had guests. I felt bad pulling him away for nearly an hour, so I declined.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I walk it all the time.”
Even drunk and high, Enzo was serious. “Not in the middle of the night. And not drunk. You’re not walking home. Wait until five. Take a nap in my room and walk back in the morning.”
“Enzo, that’s a lot. I’d rather just walk back now and be there for the morning. Plus, the baby doesn’t wake up until eight, so I’ll get more sleep if I go home now.”
But he was adamant. He took me by the hand and pulled me toward the stairs behind everyone. He spun me around so his back was facing the living room and took my chin between his fingers and thumb in the gentlest manner. My heart fluttered as he brought my eyes up to his.
“I really don’t want you walking in the dark, Syd. It’s dangerous. If anything happened to you…” His eyes searched mine, and my throat got tight and hot. My hands came to his waist, and I remembered all the reasons I was attracted to him—this soft, protective side of him that he saved only for me.
“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”
“Sydney.”
He kept his eyes on mine, and everything in me wanted him to kiss me. But when I peeked behind him and found E’s eyes on us, Enzo suddenly felt too close.
I broke away from him, and with a kiss on the cheek and a quick goodbye to the room, I was out the door.
I was stuck in my mind, conflicted thoughts and alcohol swirling in my head.
I liked Enzo. A lot. Even though I shouldn’t. MaybebecauseI shouldn’t. He was tall and fit, a whole year older than I was, and his rebellious nature pulled me in like a moth to a flame. He wasn’t afraid of anything, challenged every authority, every boundary ever set, and it made him that much hotter in my teenage mind. He looked at me like I was trouble, like there was a wildness in me I didn’t know yet, and he was bound to set it free.
But E—I was drawn to him in a deeper way. There was something in him Ineededto know. It was something in his eyes—those sizzling stolen glances that told me he already knew the parts of me I kept hidden. It seemed as though he had already read the unwritten chapters of my life. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel sexy—seen, stripped bare, and somehow not violated at all. Just…safe. Like nothing could ever hurt me with him, or please me without him.
And that admission, that provocative little conversation of ours, had me questioning everything I thought I wanted and who I wanted it with. I was charged, and I could feel it pulsing off my skin.
I was thankful for the late-night walk, if only to clear my head. I was happy I decided to leave when I did—before poor decisions were made, one way or the other.
“Hey, wait up,” a deep voice called from behind me.
My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw it was E. I stopped and waited for him to catch up, and when his eyes landed on mine with a smile, I was suddenly embarrassed, as if he could read my thoughts from minutes before.
“You don’t have to walk me.” I disliked having anyone do anything for me out of a sense of obligation, so I offered him the out.
But he just smiled and said, “It’s alright. I could use the space.” I smiled back, excited that walking with me was the equivalent of “space.”
We walked in silence for a while. I tried my hardest to think of nothing at all, but liquid courage formed more words.
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Never really liked anyone worth making my girlfriend, I guess.” It simultaneously stung and relieved me.
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I don’t know, I just…never have.”
“What about Enzo?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I answered too quickly.
