And that’s exactly what I planned to do.
But when I walked in the door and grabbed my phone from the couch, it lit up with two more voicemails. And a text.
I didn’t know what to do, but I knew something was wrong. I should have let it be, but as afraid as I was of ruining myself again, I couldn’t leave E alone with whatever he was calling about.
My heart clenched as I opened his next message:
I have to talk to you. Call me back.
I was stricken with fear at what it could mean, at what he could possibly have to talk to me about. A part of me wanted not to care, but the bigger part of me, the one that would win, needed to know. And like curiosity killed the cat, it would also kill me.
I opened my voicemail and saw his messages. There were three. My heart pounded loudly in my ears as I thoughtof his voice being there at my fingertips. I opened the last voicemail first, and I reluctantly, stupidly, hit play.
“Syd…” he sniffed. “I need you to answer me. I need to talk to you. I need to hear your voice…” His voice was desperate, pained, and stressed. A knot formed in my throat and tears in my eyes at the sound of it. “Please…” he continued, and his voice broke. “I need you…”
He trailed off silently before the message ended, and without thinking, I hit his name and called back.
He answered on the first ring.
“Syd?” His voice was shaky and small. Not strong and deep as I remembered, and for some reason, that broke my heart even more for him.
“I’m here.” I closed my eyes.
“Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you so much—”
“E, is everything okay? I can’t really talk, but I just need to know—”
“No. Everything’snotokay. Everything is fucked up, and I don’t know what the hell to do!”
He sounded worse than I feared. I took a deep, quivering breath. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
I heard him breathe deeply into the phone. “I need to see you.”
“E…”
“I need to see you, Syd.”
I shook my head, though he couldn’t see me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea—”
“Please. Please, Sydney. I’ll never bother you again, I swear.”
A million warnings went off in my head, every single one of them telling me not to go down that road again. Toabort before I even began the mission. But I ignored them all. Because I couldn’t say no. I never could.
“Okay.”
His relief was audible. “Are you free now?”
“Now?” I was confused. “Where are you?”
“I’m in Austin.”
I swallowed hard, panic suddenly climbing up my spine. “You flew to Austin?”
“I called you before my flight, but you didn’t pick up—”
“So you came anyway?” It sounded so crazy to hop on a flight after months of not speaking, not even a call.
“I told you,” He paused. “I need to see you.”
