That night, as I'm lying in my bed, thinking about the next morning, all I can think about is how much he seems to care. It doesn't feel like it's just for the case or the story anymore.
It feels like it's for me.
And it feels good.
BROOKS
Ican't sleep.
I keep tossing and turning in my bed, opening and closing my blinds, turning on my white noise, turning it off, fiddling with the thermostat. But nothing seems to work, because all I can think about is how tomorrow I'm basically throwing her to the wolves, sending her into the wild, where I know there is an actual threat. And instead of protecting her from it, I've bought her some cute little outfits, and I'm sending her on her way. It feels irresponsible. It feels wrong.
I grab my phone, and I dial my brother. He's the only person I know who is usually awake past midnight.
“Hello?” he answers.
“Keat, can we talk?” I ask.
“Sure,” he says. “Is there a reason you're calling me at almost one in the morning?” Keaton and I have a complicated relationship. Julian has always been a little bit more of a nurturing big brother, probably due to our age gap. Keaton has always resented me. Our relationship has always been a little more complex because we spent more time in the same house together. By the time I was walking and talking, Julian was already out of the house.
But there are some things I know I can talk to him about, and at the end of the day, we're still brothers. And just like I know I would do anything for him, I know he would do the same for me.
“I'm struggling, man,” I admit to him. “It feels so wrong what we're doing.”
“What do you mean?” he asks. “You know what Dad has done.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know,” I say. “I don’t mean that. I mean sending her in like this. It feels really risky. I’m worried.” There's a short pause, and then Keaton speaks again.
“You care about her, don't you?” he says. I scrub a hand down my face as I hold the phone up to my ear.
“Yeah, man,” I say, “I really do.” I hear Keaton sigh on the other end of the phone.
“What an inconvenient time for you to not act like a jackass,” he says, and I laugh at how similar his and Julian's responses are. It really says something about the type of guy I used to be.
“Julian warned me about this,” he says. “Look, Brooks. I know we don't have a lot in common. It's not a secret that we haven't always gotten along, so I need you to know that I mean this earnestly when I tell you that I do want you to be happy. Julian and I have been waiting for fucking ever for you to grow the fuck up and find someone or something that you find worth it to get your shit together. And while it appears that this is the most inconvenient fucking time ever for it to actually happen, I'm happy for you. I know you care about her, but we need her, and by ‘we’ I don't mean you, me, or Julian. I mean all the women who our father has hurt for the last two decades, all the people who are out there who he hurt and whose lives he broke. We can't let that be the legacy that the Everett name leaves behind, and I know you know that too.” He’s right, but it doesn’t make this suck any less. “We are so lucky to have Wren in this situation, and I'm so grateful for her offering to do this. So I'mgonna ask you again, even though I know Julian already has. Please don’t fuck this up. Please don't hurt her and make her regret this so that we're back at the starting line.”
“I hear you, Keaton” I say, “but I need you to hear me now too. I need you and Julian to reassure me that we are doing everything we can to keep her safe and to make sure that nothing happens to her. I need you to tell me all the things that are happening behind the scenes.” Keaton takes another breath.
“Julian has a contact who is a professional in situations like this. He’s the best in the world. He’s going to have two of his guys positioned at and around the perimeter of the building every single day while she's there. We're also going to greet her in the morning with a tracking device and a wire.”
“You're gonna make her wear a wire?” I ask, a little frustrated. I didn't care to be in on the plans before. But now it’s different.
“We have to. It's the only way we can get the evidence we need.”
I sigh.
“Does she know about this?”
“Yes, she does. She and I discussed it at the initial meetings that you didn't come to.” If I could go back in time and kick my own ass, I would do it. I don't regret taking the trip with my mom, but I regret not meeting Wren sooner. I blow out a long breath.
“Okay, and what about us?” I ask.
“We can't be seen, Brooks. No one can see us near the building, so if you're gonna be a dumbass and still go, I need you to promise me that you stay invisible. Don't take the car. Take something else. Park somewhere private. Make sure your windows are tinted, and wear a fucking hat. Do not fuck this up.”
“I hear you, big brother. I won't,” I promise him.
“Brooks, I want you to know that I really am happy for you,” he says again. “And she's going to be just fine. We are all gonna take care of her. I promise.” I smile.
“Thanks, Keat. I'll talk to you in the morning.” I set my phone down on the nightstand and stare up at my ceiling. I replay his words in my head.
