Me neither. Although I’m not surprised she hasn’t reached out, it still feels shitty. Everything about my mom does. From her ability to leave her kids behind to live her own life to failed promised visits and empty words.
I haven’t even met Blueberry yet and I could never imagine myself doing that to them. But maybe my mom never felt like she didn’t want to be a parent while she was pregnant and made that decision after having us.
I don’t know what’s worse, but I’d rather not know.
“Hey,” my brother said, placing a hand over mine, clearly sensing my thoughts. “I know we didn’t grow up with the most ideal parents, but I want you to know that I think you’re going to be an amazing mother,” he says sincerely, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his face lifts with a smile.
“Thank you,” I reply softly, feeling his support comfort me from the inside out. It gives me confidence in myself that I can do this and be better than my mom ever was or will be.
While I may not know a lot about being a parent, I know being there and caring for my kid already puts me ahead of my own.
And I plan on giving this baby everything I never got to experience with my own mom and more.
What I missed out on is my driving force to be the best mom I can.
No matter what.
Chapter 30
Quentin
I’d like to think I’m a rational man.
But seeing Teagan sit right above our dugout, wearing her brother’s jersey, all I can think is how I wish it were mine she was wearing.
Showing everyone how she’s mine.
I’m not pitching today, but the league requires all pitchers to show up on game days to show support if you’re resting, or work with trainers to get ready for the next time we have to pitch. Coach Tran is a bit stricter, wanting the pitchers that are resting to be focused on the game, no distractions, to show respect for the teammates playing. Which I’m finding impossible to focus on the game because Teagan is sitting above and behind us, right behind the dugout.
Usually, pitchers stay in the bullpen, but I made a request with Coach to be in the dugout today, and he obliged.
I can’t count the number of times my eyes have strayed to her, pretending to look out and wave at fans when I only have eyes for her.
To merely make sure she’s okay, and that no one is bothering her. And every time a foul ball is hit, my heart jumps into my throat as I watch, praying it doesn’t go anywhere near her and our baby.
Our baby.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, so I quickly look around to see that no one’s paying attention as I check it.
Teagan
Watch the game. I’m fine.
Me
I am.
Teagan
Bullshit. I’ve seen you look my way more than you have Ian’s.
Me
You are prettier to look at than your brother.
Teagan
Your coach is staring at you.
