“The music was so loud. My bad. Thank you guys for coming over,” I say once we part. “I know how difficult it is this time of year with everyone’s schedules.”
“We’re exactly where we want to be. You needed us, so we’re here.” Kaya smiles as she sets down three takeout containers on the island from our favorite Mediterranean restaurant.
“Can we eat first? I’m starving, and you know if I start talking first, it’s game over for me,” Clara says as she plops down on my island stool.
“Of course,” I reply, sitting next to her as I open my container and dig into a grape leaf.
“Since you can’t multitask…” Kaya points her fork at Clara as she talks, then points it at me. “How’s ESA?”
“Honestly, it’s going better than I thought. I don’t love managing their behaviors, but I’m actually enjoying the coaching part. It keeps me in gymnastics and will hopefully help with thewhole getting back on Team USA thing,” I answer, feeling uneasy at the thought because it’s now going to be even harder than before with taking time off to recover once the baby is born.
“I’m really happy for you,” Clara remarks with a mouthful. “Even if I want to punch your coach right in the dick.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Screw that guy and anyone else who had a part in that whole thing. Are you sure you don’t want to go to the media about it?” Kaya asks.
During my two weeks of wallowing in my condo, I wondered that so many times. But the fear of making the situation worse somehow and losing my chance for good kept me at bay.
“No,” I say on swallow. “It’s better to just leave it as it is, and I trust Nina’s methods.”
“She truly is the best,” Clara chimes in, seeing as Nina is also her agent.
“That’s true,” Kaya says, then adds, “By the way, I’m glad you’re happy in your new job too. I kind of miss ESA, so it’s cool that you’re back there. It was intense, don’t get me wrong. But that’s where we all met and I’ll cherish those memories forever.”
“I know, walking around campus every day brings back all the good times we had together there. Like two days ago, I was walking past the bench near the cafeteria where we all gushed about our first kisses in freshman year.”
“Oh, I remember that day. It was the Monday after our first high school party on the weekend,” Kaya says wistfully, as I’m sure the memories of our youth are playing out in her mind.
“Yup, and we were all so excited we had that first together,” Clara chimes in as she dabs her mouth with a napkin. “I hope we do all of life’s firsts together. Marriage, babies. Imagine our babies being best friends?”
I nearly drop my fork at the wordbabies, because how did we end up on this topic so soon into the night?
“I don’t want kids, remember?” Kaya points out.
“Still, you can be an aunty,” Clara replies as my heart pounds rapidly against my chest. How the hell did the conversation go from casual to this?
My palms sweat as my stomach twists with nerves. I wipe my hand on my sweats, my entire body warming up as my mind swirls at the prospect of telling them.
While I know they will be supportive, I think I’m scared because the more I tell people, the more real it seems, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
I feel like it’s the perfect time to tell them, and I’m about to when Clara speaks up again.
“Oh, by the way, tell your mom I said thank you for the new medication. I haven’t had an asthma flare-up in months,” Clara says to Kaya, who smiles softly, while I let out a low breath of relief at having a few more minutes to gather myself.
Kaya’s mom is a respiratory doctor, and Clara has been seeing her since she moved here for her asthma.
“I’m so glad to hear that. I’ll be sure to tell her once they’re back from visiting my Lola.”
We listen to Kaya as she tells us about her parents’ adventures in the Philippines, all the while I do my best to be present.
The room seems to be caving in as their words become distant and breathing grows more labored. I ground myself by rubbing my hands up and down my thighs while trying to control my breathing. It takes a few moments, but I’m able to slowly soothe myself all the while neither of them even noticed.
When I tune back into the conversation, Clara is going on about a potential trade rumor when I blurt out, “I’m pregnant.”
A fork clatters onto the granite counter, while two sets of wide eyes turn to me.
“Surprise,” I squeak while trying to give them my brightest smile.
“Is…” Clara trails off.
