Scout shifts so she's pressed against my hip as I push off lazily with my toes. One hand slides down Scout's side, the other resting absently on the swell of my belly. My wedding ring catches the sunlight, twinkling, and I imagine Ruth Ellen is here with me. She would be so proud, so happy for Grey, for us.
Baby Ruthie pushes against my hand like she knows every thought in my brain. I can't say she kicks--I'm pretty sure it's her little butt she's nudging me with, since she's already turned and ready for the exit.
Seriously, thank god the nursery is done. I was starting to lose sleep. I mean, there's no comfortable position in the world right now, so I don't think I'd be sleeping much anyway. But dang, we were down to the wire on this one. Today's my due date, for goodness sake. But Grey said it would be done, and when he makes a promise, you can take it to the bank.
Three years. I can't believe it's beenthree years,it's all gone so fast. Two years ago, he proposed with his grandmother's ring and a declaration of his love that brought me down to myknees with him. Last year, when the forests were in full, fresh bloom, we were married in a clearing much like where Cass and Wilder's renewal was held. The ceremony was small, my dress was exquisite, and Grey looked incredible in his gorgeous, well-cut black suit. All I wanted to do was get him out of it. We started trying for a baby a few months in, and bam--here comes Ruthie.
Grey has had all my firsts.
Where do I even start?
On my first road trip, we went to Charleston, and I saw the ocean for the first time. Cried like a baby. Grey and I got matching peach tattoos on our inner wrists, and every time I see his, I flush like a schoolgirl. I went on my first roller coaster, camped for a whole weekend, skinny dipped at a waterfall in the moonlight. I even got a tiny little nose ring. Such a rebel.
We spent our honeymoon at a resort in Mexico, built into the jungle on the Caribbean coast. I flew for the first time. Snorkeled. Zip lined! Canoed into caves on crystalline water, swam in underground rivers. Basically, I lost it every five minutes. Our suite was on the river with a swim up patio, the resort built around the caves and coves cut by the river. It was rugged and natural and breathtakingly beautiful, just like Grey.
Then the firsts I didn't even clock. Like our first married fight, and more importantly, the makeup after. Or being called Mrs. Brooks for the first time. Hearing Ruthie's heartbeat.
Sometimes I don't know how I got here, how I found myself in the most beautiful life. It's more than I ever dreamed of, more than I even knew was out there waiting for me.
His voice carries through the new screen door, and I smile on instinct. Scout is warm against my hip. The baby shifts, morphing my belly. And for a moment, I'm just so grateful all of this is mine.
But it hasn't all been easy. Carlin took a plea deal for twenty years, and I try not to think about him. My relationship with mymom is strained by her lies, softened by my pregnancy. I didn't know I'd want her with me as much as I do. And then there's my parents' divorce. My father's estrangement. The awkwardness when she and Danny are in the same place. The paternity test and navigating the bureaucratic maze as we tried to update my birth certificate. Rob wouldn't sign the affidavit, so we had to go through the courts.
But it was worth it. Now, it's official, legal after all these years.
Danny's entry into my life has been smooth and easy, much like him. He walked me down the aisle, danced with me at my wedding, became a constant, solid fixture in my life, my heart. He's so excited for the baby, always bringing little gifts for her, things he saw and thought of her. I can't help but think this is a second chance for him too.
The screen door opens, and Grey appears looking a little sweaty and dirty and devastating as ever. My stomach flips--god, he is unfairly hot. His lips tilt in a smile, and he looks me over for a moment like he's memorizing the sight.
I pop up a little straighter. "Is it time?"
He chuckles as he approaches, extending a hand. Everything about him is easy and casual but his eyes. He's nervous.
As if he could ever disappoint me.
"It's time."
I snatch his hand and pull, but I'm enormous, planetary, and he really has to but a little muscle into it. With that, we manage, and I'm on my feet, my hand lost in his as he tows me into the house. The hallway is crowded with our friends--Cass and Wilder, Jessa and Remy, Tate and Shelby. Danny. They share secretive smiles that send a little shiver of excitement down my spine.
We stop, and Grey says, "Close your eyes, peaches."
I'm vibrating with excitement as I do. I smell fresh paint and new wood, feel Grey's hands on me, steady, warm, safe as he guides me into the hall, then into the room--I can feel when the space opens up around me.
He's behind me, one hand where my waist used to be. And then his lips are at my ear.
"Open."
My eyes fly open.
Instantly, they are full of tears.
Light shines through pale curtains, setting the soft peach walls in a perfect glow, illuminating the natural wood crib, changing table, shelves. The cream rocking chair is big and cushy, the fabric accents in the room off white and sage green. Everything is warm and soft and golden and waiting for our little girl.
I can't speak.
I drift into the room, my hand reaching out to slide across the top of the changing table, then the crib. As I approach, I realize it's handmade. My head swivels to find my dad, unable to hold back his tears, his face tight with emotion. He nods once, small. I turn back to it. He made this, he built this. I choke back a sob, swipe away my tears. My gaze shifts to the built in shelves that match my library. Grey. And the books! I gasp, my eyes skipping and hopping across all of the titles, my favorite books, even down to the baby books.
Cass's voice is wobbly when she says, "I left you room in case I forgot anything."
