"I think you did. I just think he snapped. He thought I'd go away and he could get back to you. But I'm not going anywhere. And I think he figured that out."
"for -- ……"I shake my head,"If Danny hadn't shown up, Carlin was going to take me, keep trying to convince me I guess. He only had the knife in his hand in the end because he was going to cut me loose. But then the man surprised him. Carlin didn't know how to fight. He just grabbed the knife and…" Mygaze slips out of focus. "And I knew I had to get one too. And then you came and he turned and…" I can still feel the jolt from the knife when I drove it into him. "Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe you would have stopped him."
"Or maybe he would have shot me. You didn't do anything wrong."
"It feels wrong."
"I know. But it wasn't. He'd already hurt that guy. Your dad."
"My dad," I whisper, shaking my head. "I don't…I can't…if you hadn't confirmed I'd have thought he was lying. But then I remembered. I remembered him. We used to walk home from school, but not my house, his. Or sometimes the park. But I don't remember him kidnapping me. I want to know why. I want to know everything. My parents--" Angry tears spring to my eyes. "What the fuck, Grey?"
"They said it was why they were scared, why they were protective. They thought they lost you once." He pauses. "I don't think they ever recovered."
"They weren't protecting me, they were containing me. My whole life, built around a secret they never planned to tell me." I wipe my eyes roughly. "Mom tried to tell me. Did she tell you that? She started to say something and Dad just…shut her down. Threatened her. Asked her if she was ready for the consequences." My voice shakes. "I watched her break, Grey. I watched her choose him over me."
"Molly…"
"I knew there was a secret. I told them I could see what they were doing. And they just…" I have to stop, breathe through my anger. "When I tried to leave, he grabbed my arm, wouldn't let go until Mom told him to."
Grey goes still, his voice low. "He put his hands on you?"
"He didn't hurt me. I walked out without saying I love you. First time in my life." The tears spill over. "I just…I'm so fuckingmad," I say through a sob. "I want to scream at them almost as much as I never want to speak to them again. But I'm going to have to talk to them. I have too many questions. I want to hear it from them. I want them to try and justify it to me. But I think I want to talk to Danny first." I shake my head. "I don't even know what to call him. Everything feels wrong." I break down then, and he cradles me, soothing me. He says it'll be alright, and I believe him. I cling to the promise like a life raft.
When the worst of it is passed, he says, "Do you want to go see him? At the hospital?"
I sniffle, thinking about it. "Do you think he wants to see me?"
"I do."
So I nod. "Will you stay with me?"
"Always," he says, the word thick with promise.
And for a moment, at least, I find comfort.
CHAPTER 59
TATER TOTS
MOLLY
My hand is sweating and shaky inside Grey's as we walk through the hospital from the check in desk toward Danny Miller's room.
Somehow, I still don't know how I got here. The last twenty-four hours have been so disorienting, I don't know how to act or who to be or what to expect as I move from point to point, marked by the hours, my hand in Grey's.
He glances down at me. "You ready for this?"
I hold the silence for a moment, thinking through my many, many worries. "What if I don't know what to say? What if I don't feel anything? What if I feel too much?"
"There aren't any rules, peaches. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Whatever happens, you'll learn what you came to find out."
I nod, my face tight with worry as we approach his room. And then he comes into view through the open doorway where I hesitate. He's in bed, IV in his arm, bandaged, bruised. Pale. But his eyes are alive when he sees me.
"Molly?" he asks like he can't believe it.
I'm frozen for a beat. And then I feel Grey's hand come to rest in the small of my back. With it, I find the courage to step into the room. The man--Danny, Dad?--and I watch each other as I approach the bed slowly.
"Molly girl?" he asks again. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
