“You shouldn’t give me excuses,” I said roughly.I wouldn’t hurt him on a technicality.That wasn’t fair.
“It’s not an excuse.”Keaton took a breath.“Or, it’s not an excuse for you.I’m… a little intimidated, if I’m honest.”
I tilted my head at him questioningly.
“Well, you’re… famous,” he said.I shuddered a little at the word but he held up a defensive hand.“Kind of, anyway.People pay attention to what you say.You do press conferences and there are tabloid shots of you at games.If you’re out and people know we’re dating, then I’ll be caught up in that as well, and I’m a behind-the-camera kind of guy, you know?Not to mention that people will treat me a lot differently around here.”
“I’m sorry,” I said slowly.“I didn’t hear anything after ‘we’re dating’.”
Keaton’s cheeks flared bright pink immediately.“Oh, shit,” he said.“Was that too much of an assumption?I mean, I know we haven’t, like, formalized anything, I just… it was just a turn of phrase, or…”
I smiled.“Keaton Dunbar,” I said.He shut up babbling and stared at me.“I would very much like to date you.”
Keaton blew out a breath.“Okay,” he said.There was a pause.He grinned.“Okay.”
I chuckled.“But that still means we have a lot to figure out.”
Keaton nodded seriously.The smile fell from his face and I wanted to go over there and paste it back on.It wasn’t the right time.We needed to get through this.“I want you to promise me something,” he said.“Promise me that this – us – won’t affect our work lives.I mean, you know.Kissing in the office or whatever is fine.But you can’t fire me when we have an argument, or snap Ace’s head off for sassing me, or give me a promotion just because we’re together.Actually, I don’t even want a promotion.No special treatment.”
I nodded.“I can do that.”I looked at him pointedly.“Can you?”
He took a breath before he answered.“Yes, I think I can,” he said.“I can be organized and analytical and find the best way to be a good secretary for you without letting my emotions take over.I won’t cancel meetings without telling you if I’m mad at you, or tell you office gossip you’re not supposed to know unless it affects the work, or demand things from you that a secretary shouldn’t have.”
“There’s something I want you to know,” I said solemnly when he was done with his list.“I’m glad you want to keep things under wraps.But… if you didn’t feel that way.If it was a deal breaker…”
Keaton nodded.“You wouldn’t do this.I know.”
I shook my head quickly.I waited until he met my eyes again.I needed him to look into my eyes and see how much I meant this.“I would come out for you.”
Keaton’s mouth formed an ‘o’ of surprise.“But… your last relationships…”
I shook my head again.He needed to listen and believe me.“I’m older and wiser than I was then,” I said.“I know now.It takes sacrifice and hard work for a relationship to work out.It takesequalsacrifice.If we ever come to that bridge…”
“You’ll cross it?”Keaton whispered.
I nodded.
Keaton looked down at his desk for a long moment.When he looked up again it was almost shyly.“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to die alone,” I said bluntly.“I don’t want to miss my chance at love.”
Keaton paused.A small gasp of breath made his chest hitch up and down.He looked at his desk again and then up at me.I wondered if he wasn’t getting whiplash from all this up and down.
“Maybe I should go work for Ace,” he said.“Put some distance between us.”
“No,” I snapped.
“Or even Caleb,” he carried on.“No one would suspect us if I was working for Caleb.”
“Keaton.”
“I could still see you every day, we’d just have to make reasons and excuses.I could work with whoever your new secretary is.You see Ace every day, so I could just come over here to deliver messages.”
He wasn’t listening to me.I stood up and walked around my desk.
“Of course, if I’m at the Coleman Group, I can just get in his car when he’s heading home, and then when you have your secret dinners, we can go home together.No one will ever know.You’venever been caught before, having your dinners, so it could work.And there are private meeting rooms and cars with blacked-out windows and our own homes, no one will know we’re there.Oh, except my place, since Fernando is around all the time.So, I guess, your place.I think we could pull it off.”
I walked right up to him and still he was panicking his way through it.
