“But…?”Keaton asked.He was still shaking.“I feel like you were about to say a ‘but’.”
“But I don’t want to,” I said honestly.
We stared at each other for a long moment.
Keaton opened his mouth.“Why?”he whispered.
I looked down – but that only meant my gaze dropped over his body.Not my intention.I cleared my throat.“Do you actually want this job?”I asked.
“Yes!”Keaton exclaimed.“Yes, more than anything.I really meant what I said.As soon as I realized I wanted the job more than I wanted to sell the footage, I just stopped.And I know this wasn’t what I always dreamed of doing, but I enjoy it.I enjoy working with you a lot, and organizing things, and dealing with people for you, and all the rest of it – I really like it.”
I nodded.I could sense it.I held up a hand so he would stop.It seemed like he would talk forever if he thought it would get him the job a little longer.Like filibustering until the end of the working day so I would have to wait until tomorrow to fire him.
“I’m not happy about what you did,” I told him.
Keaton’s face fell into utter misery.It took everything in me not to step forward and cup his face in my hands and kiss his forehead.I wanted to tell him everything would be okay.I had to wait just a little longer.
“I’m sorry,” Keaton said.His voice was a strangled sob.“I just – I had this stupid idea that I was going to make something more of myself.That I was going to get all this footage and everyone would think I was amazing.I didn’t even think it through properly.I should have known you were never going to thank me for filming stuff with a secret camera – I didn’t even think if there were going to be any legal issues or anything like that – I was so stupid.Sostupid!I just didn’t think I was going to like this job so much – I didn’t think it was going to matter if you fired me, but – please… don’t fire me…”
“Alright,” I said and held my hands up.I didn’t like the way he looked.I wanted to do anything possible to put a smile back on his face.To see him flush pink with pleasure and not be on the verge of tears.
“Alright?”he asked.He looked up at me with hope.His eyes were shining under the weight of unshed liquid but blazing with possibility.
I hadn’t meant it that way.I’d just wanted him to stop talking for a minute.But…
“Alright,” I agreed.
“Oh, god!”he exclaimed with relief.He wiped a hand across his face and laughed thickly.“Thank you, sir.I won’t ever let you down again.Not for a single second.I mean it.”
“I know.”I believed every word.He wouldn’t want to go through this again.Keaton wasn’t a natural liar.He felt bad about it.I could see now how it had been eating him up.
“I just… I think I just wanted to prove everyone wrong,” he said.I had already changed my mind.He didn’t seem to think that was a reason to stop explaining himself.“After that networking event – you know, the job fair, where we first met – I felt like I needed to prove to people that I could be something.No one hired me.I was just… left out at the end.Like the kid not getting picked for the sports team.And I wanted to shove this in the face of everyone who doubted me.Make them see me and see that I’m special.”
“Some of us know that already,” I said and regretted it immediately.
It was Keaton’s fault.He was speaking so freely.I had only let my own thoughts join the flow of his.
Out loud.
Like an idiot.
Keaton stared at me.“What?”he asked.
I coughed and pulled at my collar.Was it hot in here?Maybe I needed to adjust the thermostat.“We should get back to work,” I said.
“What did you mean by that?”Keaton repeated.
I glanced away.My gaze fell on some of the briefs I had to approve on my desk.Sudden inspiration struck.
“You should have told me from the start that you were interested in filmmaking,” I said.“There are some things that you could be working on.”
Keaton’s eyebrows shot up.That was a good distraction.I was no longer an idiot; I was a genius.“What do you mean?”
“Social media and website content,” I said.“We always need more.We have people in the social media department who work on that kind of thing.I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t work alongside them.”
“Like making short videos to post?”
I nodded.“To start with.Perhaps you could work up to corporate films.We normally have to hire freelancers for the really professional videos.It would save us money to use someone in-house.”
