“That sounds nice,” I nodded automatically. I wanted to ask him whether he was supposed to be working, but I didn’t want to make it sound like I was prying. Maybe, given how close it was to his leaving date, his other employers were starting to cut his shifts.
“Do you want to come?” Rowe asked.
I blinked and stared at him.
He was asking me to dinner?
No… not like that. Dinner with friends. It wasn’t exactly intimate. But still, why would he…?
Oh.
I swallowed and nodded. “I’ll come,” I said. Then, casually, as if it wasn’t anything: “How much do you want?”
Rowe cocked his head at me and frowned. “What?”
“For tonight,” I said. “How much money do you want?” If he needed to make some extra money before he left, fine. I could pay him. I knew it was sad and pathetic of me, but at least I would get to spend some more time with him before it was too late. At least I could ask him to pretend one last time that he was mine.
Rowe frowned. “I’m not asking you for money,” he said.
I stared at him in confusion. “Then why do you want me to come with you?”
Rowe looked at me for a long moment and then sighed, slumping back against the shelving. “Xavi… I was asking you to come along as a friend.”
Friend. I should have been elated. To go from employer to friend in the space of a weekend was a big leap, and besides, I really honestly didn’t have many friends who I actually believed cared about me. But…
That word cut like a knife into my heart.Friend– and nothing more.
“Right,” I said, then shook my head again. “What?”
Rowe bit his lip. I couldn’t tell whether he pitied me or he was trying to hold himself back from laughing at me. “Xavi, I want to ask you something,” he said.
“Oh,” I replied. That sounded serious. I wasn’t sure that I liked it.
“The other night,” he said, and then maybe sensing that he needed to be absolutely clear with me, he added: “When we had sex.”
My mind was a complete blank. There was nothing behind my eyes at all. “Uh-huh.”
“What did you think that was?”
I had no idea what words were or how they existed or how one was supposed to use them. I felt like a kid in school being asked to answer a question the teacher had set, but I hadn’t actually been listening to anything until I heard my name. “Um,” I said. “Sex?”
Rowe rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “I mean…” he sighed and gave a half-laugh, shaking his head. “What I mean is – do you think I had sex with you because you were paying me?”
I scuffed my shoe against the floor. “Well, I didn’t at the time,” I muttered. “But afterward, I realized…”
Rowe’s index finger found the bottom of my chin – no easy feat, considering how many layers of flesh it was hidden under – and tilted my head up. He looked right into my eyes. I wanted to look away, but he held me tight. “That wasn’t for money.”
“I – what?” I said, cutting myself off from telling him I knew and understood it had just been part of the job for him when what he’d actually said filtered through to my ears.
“Let’s be very clear on what you bought,” Rowe said, straightening himself up. He looked down at me proudly, his chin lifted. “You bought my acting skills for a weekend. Playing pretend in front of the other wedding guests. That night – that was not included.”
His gaze burned down into mine with passionate heat that made my cheeks flare red.
It wasn’t for the money.
He’d slept with me anyway, even though he wasn’t getting anything out of it.
So, then…
