No matter what he wanted to say, I didn’t care. That was the truth.
It was a weird realization to come to. I’d spent so long worrying about what Ace thought. About not losing face in front of him. About letting him think that I was absolutely fine without him, that I didn’t need him, that I had my pick of men to choose from. And I didn’t even need to choose one, because I already had one, so him being in a relationship now wasn’t even that big of a deal.
But all this time, I’d cared so deeply. I’d been hurt to the bone every time he rejected me for someone else. I’d been unable to breathe the day I found out he’d moved in with Brody. That they were serious about being together. I had hoped that Ace would screw it up, that keeping their relationship secret would push Brody away from him, but they’d come out into the open and I’d been the one left alone.
When Ace and I could be screwed up together, competing on who we could get into bed and then just falling into bed together instead, it was different.
When I was the only fuck-up alone, everything seemed so much darker all of a sudden.
But now, with the ghost of Rowe’s kiss lingering on my lips…
Maybe for just this weekend, he’d given me a superpower.
The power not to care about Ace, or anyone else, at all.
Anyone but him.
“It was a beautiful ceremony, wasn’t it?” Rowe asked, looking in my direction. I leaned forward. He was talking to one of Aiden’s friends, one of the ones who played football in college. Rowe was obviously responding out of politeness, but he needed saving from carrying the burden of the conversation.
“It was,” I said, nodding at Aiden’s friend. “It makes you think, doesn’t it? Are you two engaged?”
Aiden’s friend spluttered, looked at his girlfriend and rushed out something about needing to relieve himself, and got up from the table.
Rowe looked around at me with a grin. “Nicely done,” he said.
“Thanks,” I chuckled. “Being obnoxious is a special talent that sometimes even works in my favor.”
Rowe gave me a sideways, lopsided grin. “You’re not always all that obnoxious,” he said.
Yeah, sure. I’d given him his money early and gotten him out of a conversation he wasn’t enjoying. Some big character redemption that was.
“Speech!” someone shouted from the other side of the room, and the chorus was quickly taken up by more voices.
“Okay, okay,” I heard Aiden say. I leaned out to look past the row of people between us and saw him raising a hand. He glanced ruefully at Cade and then got to his feet.
Good. Speeches.
An excuse for me to stay silent and not screw up this tentative atmosphere between us.
Because Rowe had given me what felt like a genuine smile in the midst of all of this tension and chaos.
And I couldn’t help but hope there was something genuine in his kiss, too – even if I was bound to get my heart broken when he walked away tomorrow.
Rowe
I leaned on the bathroom sink, studying myself in the mirror. Thankfully, there was no one else in the men’s room for the moment. Everyone was eating. I’d had to excuse myself from a delicious meal in order to come in here and try to get a grip on everything that was happening.
Because it felt like so much was happening, and I needed a minute to process it.
Deon being here had been an unwelcome surprise. So much of it didn’t sit right with me. Lying and being caught in the lie – having someone I knew see me now as a liar, as a person who could fake it and pretend for money. Not only that, but it was starting to dawn on me that this wasn’t just an arrangement for one weekend that could be forgotten about as soon as Sunday was over. Xavi was a colleague. Someone I had to see at work every day. Now I had to see him knowing that we had touched, slept in a room together, kissed…
And that kiss.
I reached up to touch my own lips, wondering. The feeling of sparks dancing on my skin was still there, faintly, an echo of how it had felt to kiss him. The first and second times – in front of his friends, and then the so-called practice that was an obvious grasp for attention – they had been good. Standard kisses, but good.
But the third…
I couldn’t be the only one who felt it, could I? Surely, Xavi had to have known it was special, too?
